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Console:	Atari 2600
Region:
Year:	1983
RFG ID #:	U-005-S-01210-A
Part #:
UPC:
Developer:	Mystique
Publisher:	Mystique
Rating:
Genre:	Action/Adventure
Sub-genre:	Action / Adult
Players:	1-2
Controller:	Standard Controller
Media Format:	Cartridge

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• 31 of 7620 collectors (0.4%) have this game in their collection
• 11 of 7620 collectors (0.1%) have this game in their wishlist.
• 0 of 7620 collectors (0%) have this game for sale or trade.

• Standard Controller

In this third week of July, 2005, it has come to the attention of the public that Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas contains a hidden sex mini-game. According to GameSpot, the mini-game "cannot be accessed without entering a long string of cheat codes, and takes several hours of effort to access." Still, misinformed parents and crazed politicians everywhere are causing a huge fuss over the appropriately M-rated game, even going so far as to demand federal regulation of video games.

Somebody should remind them about Custer's Revenge, and how it makes GTA: San Andreas seem like an E-rated game in comparison. Sex mini-games with fully-clothed characters? Please. Custer's Revenge takes it a thousand miles past the PC line and delivers rape. Yes, that's right. Rape. In the game, you play as General Custer. Your objective is to seek "Revenge" by forcing yourself upon a nude Native American Woman who is tied to a post, whilst arrows shower the sky from above. (I wish I was making this up.) Not surprisingly, protests and banned sales followed the release of this "game".

If that doesn't sicken you enough, take a look at the screenshots, the box art, the review below, and perhaps worst of all the glorified text from the back of the box:

Will Custer have his sweet revenge? Or will he get it in the end?

• One or two players
• Choice of two skill levels per player
• Superb color graphics
• Songs and realistic sound effects
• 1-year limited warranty

For those of you who don't know anything about history, General George Custer was the only man in early America who was able to stand against the oppression of Native American rulers. These Native Americans were cruel and merciless. They controlled this country with an iron fist. They would spread unknown disease among the kind-hearted English settlers and raid English villages leaving no stone standing and no woman un-ravaged. They often forced English people to move to new lands far away from their ancestral homes, only to be relocated again and again, until there was very little land left for the English. For many years no one could stand against the incredible might and superior technology of the Native Americans. But then a ray of hope shined down from the heavens. Much like Hercules, Custer was born of a beautiful mortal woman, but fathered by Zeus, king of the gods. Custer possessed a strength the world had never seen, a strength surpassed only by the power of his heart....No matter what obstacle, as long as there were people crying for help, there was one man who would never rest --- Custer.

Unfortunately, Custer came to face the might of a great war-chieftain called Sitting Bull because he could spray acid from his butt (his real name was Winston). Custer's army was no match for Sitting Bull's battle droids and flying attack exo-skeletons. His entire army fell to Sitting Bull in the metropolitan sprawls of Alaska. The Native American rulers continued to wage a terror campaign upon the English until 1832, when the Protoss intervened with fifty carriers and a thousand dark templar. The Native Americans fell, as George Washington so eloquently put it, "L|k3 F4660+ n00bz".

Now we have Custer's Revenge for the Atari 2600, and the game is about as offensive and worthless as the history lesson I just taught (which you should immediately disregard and keep out of the reach of small children). It pretty much consists of Custer getting his non-consensual freak on with a Native American girl who is tied to a post. Meanwhile, her tribe's angry warriors shoot arrows at Custer. The player's objective is to get in as many "thrusts" as possible while avoiding the arrows which rain down from above. As players progress into the higher levels, the game speeds up in an effort to be more difficult. Speeding up the game accomplishes nothing though, because Custer moves faster along with everything else.

From a totally unbiased perspective I can't say Custer's Revenge is complete crap. It is actually a fairly playable game, albeit simple. The graphics are sub-par for a 2600 game, and even though they do depict nudity, they're just too simple to be what I would consider pornographic (if this is porn than so are most of the stick figures you drew in grade school). The sound consists of beeps. The real problem here is just the concept. The very activity which is being implied, not to mention the message this conveys, are just ridiculous. I can only envision the mouth-breathers who came up with the idea for this game, and although I give them a few points for originality, I still believe someone should kick them in the teeth.

Console	Reg.	Type	Title	Publisher	Year	Genre
Atari 2600		S	Custer's Revenge	Mystique	1982	Action/Adventure

Console	Reg.	Type	Title	Publisher	Year	Genre
Atari 2600		S	Bachelor Party	Mystique	1984	Action/Adventure
Atari 2600		S	Beat'Em & Eat'Em	Mystique	1984	Action/Adventure
Atari 2600		S	X-Man	Universal Gamex	1983	Action

• Custer's Revenge as Seanbaby's #3 Naughtiest Game of All Time
• Custer's Revenge as Seanbaby's #9 Worst Game of All Time
• Custer's Revenge at AtariAge.com