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The Online Gaming Leveler
The Answer To Being Competitive in Today's Virtual World
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My little brother (age 35) has been pestering me for months to get with the times and pick up a copy of Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. I was extremely hesitant - getting beat on like a piñata by a group of 'any' year olds is not my idea of a fun time. He promised that I could ease into it with the help of his online posse (team CoDa). I reluctantly agreed and picked up a copy this past weekend. 
Once logging in and becoming acquainted with my new 'squad', I have to admit that I was feeling rather stoked! "I love the smell of napalm in the morning... Smells like... victory" kept playing over and over in my head. With my newly found confidence, I marched proudly alongside my Band of Brothers onto the virtual battlefield. The action was furious, explosions were breathtaking and the adrenaline rush I experienced was one of the best I have had in quite some time. The end result: Marriott_Guy --> 0 Kills, 1 Assist, 19 Deaths |
Of course I knew the upcoming verbal assault I was about to endure would dwarf the shellacking that ‘earned’ me those numbers. They did not disappoint – the comments were fired out at a rate to rival the M240 machine gun. My personal favorite: "Dude, no offense, but are you 'special' or something?". After taking my medicine like a man (much like the round after round of head shots I recently absorbed), I quietly exited the PS3 playground to console myself. I am no match at all for today's gamers.
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Being an older gamer (43), I fully accept and understand that I will not be able to master any of the newer titles due to my limited time resources. However, I would like to think that I could at least be somewhat competitive and not be viewed as 'dead money' every time I enter the virtual arena. There has to be a way to level the playing field for the old guard. I am extremely analytical and attempted to statistically dissect this (a.k.a. my own futility). Here are the results: 
Statistical Sample Size = 1 (me)
As is clearly evident from the above, I just can not keep up with the ever increasing number of Controller Action Buttons (and associated combos). This button escalation mirrors the expansion of the general obligations and responsibilities in my life. The net result of these two corresponding phenomenon equates to less time for gaming for us old farts. I don't know about you, but being the glutton of punishment every time I venture into an online gaming session is not my Cup o' Joe. Fear not grey beards, a solution does exist - the Online Gaming Leveler (OGL). Here is how it works: ( | Total Hours Gaming Per Week |  |
| ) | = | OGL | (Age) X (# of Controller Buttons) |
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The OGL is a percentage that is used as a multiplier against the maximum level for a certain game statistic (i.e. Health Points). Basically, this provides a handicap for the less experienced player (blue hairs and casual gamers). The following table will demonstrate this in action: Sample OGL Demonstration | Game Information | Game Name | Name of your game | Platform \ System | Microsoft Xbox 360 | # of Controller Buttons | 10 | Player Information | Name | Marriott
Guy | Young
Buck | Little
Brother | Da' Old
Man | Age | 43 | 16 | 35 | 62 | Hours Gaming Per Week | 10 | 30 | 15 | 2 | OGL | 2.33% | 18.75% | 4.29% | 0.32% | Leveling the Field - The OGL Modified Statistic | Max Health Points | 1,000 | 1,000 | 1,000 | 1,000 | Less OGL | 23 | 188 | 43 | 3 | Net Health Points | 977 | 813 | 957 | 997 |
I arbitrarily chose 1,000 as the being the Maximum Health Points for the example in the table above. I used a variety of ages to compare the control group (me) to show how the OGL formula works. I am sure you will agree that the advantage of having 16.42% more Health Points than the Young Buck would have at least assisted me in being more competitive. On the other hand, I should give a bit to Da' Old Man since he doesn't play that often and he truly is older than dirt.
This same OGL modifier can be applied to a variety of game statistics to further even the playing field: +/- Amount of Gold achieved from victories (Action RPGs) +/- Experience gained per kill (RPGs) +/- Number of bullets in your standard ammo clip (FPS) +/- Rate of speed of incoming objects (all genres) +/- Number of Ships\Lives (Shmups) +/- Time to make a play call (sports)
Here is what the sample game screenshot would look like with OGL being implemented: 
Yes, this article is somewhat of parody and just my way of venting a bit after the trouncing I recently endured. But then again, go ahead and try out the formula - it does work with most scenarios. Click Here for the worksheet for you to play around with. I am a normal guy. I don't kid myself thinking I am the sharpest pair of skates on the ice, but on the other hand I know that I am not a dullard (contrary to the comments made after my CoD MF 2 debacle). I have responsibilities and the like that severely deters the time I can invest in my passion (gaming). If the OGL system were in place, I might have been a playa this past weekend instead of the beaten farm animal. But in all honestly, I think my lady friend hit the nail on the head after she read this article prior to being published. She said that OGL was not really an abbreviation for the Online Gaming Leveler. It was really just my way of coping with middle age - Old Guy Logic. I always knew there was something I didn't like about her.
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Let's have some fun with this (albeit at my expense).
What do my fellow grey beards think of this idea?
What other game statistics would you have modified if the OGL System were in place??
Is this really just Old Guy Logic??
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I hope you will will still give Modern Warfare 2 another try, or even another shooter even. I was a newb starting out with Goldeneye 007, now I can pop headshots with the greatest of ease if Gears/CoD/Battlefield. It just takes practice as with anything.
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@Link41:I Thanks for the comment Link - I wish I had more time to invest in it. This article is basically a self-deprecating piece (hopefully with a humorous twist.) 
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Modern Warfare 2 sucks for newbies because there's no fairly balanced matchmaking system like there is in Halo 3. If you're level 1 in Modern Warfare 2, you could easily be matched up with levels 50+. Whereas in Halo 3, they at least match you by a level range closer to your skill level.
My first MW2 match was a deathmatch on Rust with 32 people. NOT FUN! Spawn...die! Spawn...Die! Spawn...Die!
Although I like to play MW2 with friends offline, the online matchmaking for deathmatch is SO bad that I don't want to play it unless it's team-focused.
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Like has already been said i would definitely try to invest some more time into it. I'm not saying 20 hours a week. Even a couple hours a week will help you become more familiar with the controls.
I jumped right into Halo 2 online and got whupped until i had a few hours playtime in and became more familiar with some of the details.
Halo 3 i got creamed too when i started because of the new items.
Another problem you can run into is once you do get proficient with one game you might have trouble playing another one because of control changes.
I ran into this problem going between Borderlands/Halo3/GoW.
Anyways i liked the article. But i know some "old timers" who can more than hold there own when gaming.
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Hey guys - this article is just for fun - not specific to my latest CoD experience. I was just trying to have a bit of fun at my expense with the OGL parody.
I know I can get better with experience - that is given (hopefully).
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I got the joke 
But you also made it seem like experiences like these were keeping you out of the "modern gaming".
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Funny but true write up! Im not quite at your level of old or fart, but I'm not far behind. As an avid MW and MW2 player (as avid as a 30 yr old can be), I can tell you that you will eventually get better. Hey, you may even be able to take on a 12 yr old some day! lol.
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oh btw nice noob heartbeat sensor! lol
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While the increasing numbers of controller buttons do baffle me as I advance in years I think it's the ever shortening time span it takes my hands to cramp up that is the major cause of my diminishing game skills.
Ouch! My fingers are already sore after than incredibly long run on sentence I just typed.
Where's the Ben Gay?
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I just cant get into online gaming. Even when I'm winning and doing well I'd rather just play the computer opponents than someone I've never met. I've had a few fun matches of Mario Kart Wii and Smash Bros with some rfgenners here, but just playing random unknown people is boring if you ask me.
I'd never dream of just buying a game and starting online though. Definately play through the entire game to get a feel for it.
With any luck you'll get better at these kind of games soon though as buttons seem to be dissapearing (Wii Remote, PS3 Wand, Natal, etc.).
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Heh, awesome read. I guess the moral of the story is to enjoy the multiplayer while you can (aka while you're still "young") and eventually move on to singleplayer.
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Very cool, MG. I don't think I can say that the increased amount of buttons as to my diminished ability (I am a regular X3 player), but rather the two factors I call the Real Factor and the IDC Factor.
The Real Factor has to do with the entrappings of Real Life. Real Life for me consists of a marriage, two children (one 5 years and the other 2 months), a job, and full time school. This is the primary reason.
The IDC Factor is secondary to the Real Factor, but completely dependent on that factor.. IDC stands for "I Don't Care". When I play a new game for the first time it has roughly one hour (my standard unit of game time) to hook me. If it doesn't, I say aloud: "I don't care", or some variation of that, and the game is done. For example I was playing a rented copy of Silent Hill: Shattered Memories, and when I kept dying during the first Nightmare sequence I turned the game off. It's not that I couldn't get past that point, it's just that I would rather play a game whose mechanics I enjoy (such as Lunar SSS, X3, or another Silent Hill).
Just my two cents.
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@Crabmaster2000:
Sometimes i use the online to get the feel for a game before attempting the singleplayer.
It really is a game by game basis. Sometimes i would like to train/progress in in multiplayer so that singleplayer won't take me as long when i get around to it.
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I can COMPLETELY relate to this article. I'm just over thirty, with two decades of video gaming under my belt, and I once thought I could hang. But with three boys age three and under, not to mention house-husbandry duties, my available game time is not within coping range.
I started realizing this with Halo. With the first one we held LAN parties every weekend for two summers. I was almost always within the top four spots, unless I was just goofing off. But our LAN parties consisted of a dozen and a half folks who all probably had within 50 or so hours of the same amount of time spent with the game. We all loved it!
Fast forward to Halo 2. I was able to hang for about the first two months. And then I just kept getting slaughtered. I was confused- Halo was my fps, and I just couldn't seem to win, no matter what, coming in at the bottom or near it every time.
It took me almost a year to really understand two main changes-
1. Some of my friends, without the restriction of having to wait until once or twice a week to play with 16 people, started playing up to 40 hours (!) a week. I was getting maybe 4.
2. I just never got good with duel wielding. Yes, I could and did it, but the mechanics added (imho) an unnecessary level of complexity, not to mention a serious balancing issue.
Example- I start with one SMG, and before I get two steps, I get tagged with a plasma pistol and SMG at the same time, and before I can even throw a grenade, dead. Again. and again. Yeah, that gave me a fighting chance. I coped, but never developed the skillset (don't even get me started with the BR/PP 'snipe' I never mastered but was dominated by) necessary to have much fun.
After two years, I gave up. Halo 3 came around, and I did better for awhile, but trying to juggle equipment like the bubble shield as well as dual wield just made me frustrated.
I know that these extra layers to the game give people more options and often more fun, but most of these online gamers spend a CRAZY amount of time developing skills that I will never have the time (and really, the inclination) to give. I find working matchmaking for skill levels a NECESSITY for me to enjoy online gaming (and a mute button for headsets. Thank the good lord for Xbox Live party chat.)
My alternative lately is co-op gaming. Horde mode, Halo Wars Skirmish mode, Left 4 Dead Campaign, and lately ODST Firefight (LOVE IT) have been my multiplayer modes of choice by far.
Also, a few close friends and I have rules for a few games we like to stay competitive over- no playing unless it is against our favorite competitor. That way, our skills are truly tested because no one has played the game much more than the other, so we're more on equal footing. This works best for games like BlazBlue, Street Fighter IV, Command and Conquer (Multiplayer after the campaign is done) stuff like that.
And always remember my first rule of multiplayer gaming: If it's not fun for everyone, change something until it is.*
*(cheating online is NOT fun. No. No, it isn't. No. N-You're stupid. Stop ruining it for everyone. Now I can't play MW2. Stewpid getting-sniped-through-a-solid-wall-all-the-way-across-the-map-with-a-SHOTGUN-stewpid-never-playing-this-again. Oh look, more supply cra-GAAHHHHH!!.)
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I'm kind of glad that I don't play online games so that no one will know just how awful I am at them. It's really not because of my age or the number of buttons for me though, its mostly the time involved in getting good at a game. Back in the N64 days I could whoop anyone's butt in Goldeneye or Mario Kart because 1) I had more time to play games and 2) those were really the only games occupying my time. Now even when I do find some time to play a game, its not just a few games vying for my attention but 2000+ games. So if I can't get right into a game after 10 minutes, I'll usually set it aside and start something else. Sure, I miss out on a lot of great games that have slow beginnings, but I'd rather experience a lot of games a little bit than master only a couple games.
@Marriott_Guy, if any one ever gives you a hard time for sucking at some modern game, just ask them who has more consoles, you or them? I guarantee you win that argument every time.
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@slackur:
Loved the end of that lol
Halo 2 did have alot of imbalances and cheaters/hackers with the same mods as MW2 from the sounds of it.
Dual wielding was very unbalances too. Especially when you started triple wielding Needlers 
With halo 3 i rarely if ever use the bubbleshield/draing/regen things. If someone else tosses them down i take advantage of it but for the most part i just work on being a killing machine. Preferably mid/close range. I can't snipe like i use to :-/ I think part of that is the diminished TV size.
Hell when we did SMB3 for game of the month i hardly progressed at all. And what i did took way to many lives. I'm just not as good as i use to be with anything. Regardless of the number of buttons.
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This is pretty much where I stand now. I can't keep up with these teens that spend all their free time playing games. The last online game I played was a basketball game and some 14 year old beat me by 31 points.
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