In case you missed the Nintendo montage-filled press conference, allow me to summarize it for you:
1. We're doing very well, as these bar graphs show.
2. The rest of the show won't be relevant to you hardcore gamers, so here's 30 seconds of Resident Evil: Umbrella Chronicles, Ghost Squad, Ninja Gaiden DS, Phantom Hourglass, Metroid and Mario Kart for Wii. Oh, and let's make this for casual gamers too by showing off a wheel attachment for Mario Kart and say we're "leveling the playing field" for beginners.
3. We are COMMITTED to online play! We have no more than 5 exciting online games coming! Now let's go on to what really matters!
4. You want minigames?! WE GOT EM RIGHT HERE!
5. Let's lose our minds and announce our new bathroom scale with motion sensors, er wait I mean Wii Fit!