In what surely is to be a one in a lifetime occurrence, the Microsoft 360 was the top selling console in Japan for the week of September 8 through 14. It's... terrifying. What have we done to cause such a cosmic quirk to occur? Was it our capitalist overlords screwing with the subprime market, causing a financial meltdown? Could it have been the Japanese obsession with Used Pantie Machines finally caught up with them? Was it that as a world we're too preoccupied with shrubberies? I DON'T HAVE A CLUE!
Truly, someone must have done something to cause this strangeness to occur. It's not as though the Japanese could actually be genuinely interested in the 360, could it? I know it was popular in the US a couple months back, but the US and the Land of the Rising Sun are very, very different. They have Pachinko. We have Casinos. There's no way that the Japanese could be convinced to buy a 360 because of a price drop, could it? COULD IT? All I know is that last week the 360 was the top selling console in Japan, and it's scary. Such a freak oddity can not happen again next week, can it? CAN IT? I really hope not, I fear what would happen to the cosmos if it did.
OH MERCIFUL GODS! Hear my plea! Spare us from the impending cosmic rift! We humbly beseech you! We wish not to invoke your wrath! Please, take these shrubberies as a token of our most sincere acquiescence. Please, PLEASE! Don't let the 360 top the chart for another week, I don't know if the cosmos could take another week of such stress!