During every Castlevania title, from the NES original to each anticipated portable release of the last few years, one thought has permeated my time and enjoyment of the series:

'I am never moving to Romania.' 

One thought that actually never popped into my head?

'What would make these games even more awesome is if six players could speen-run through a montage of levels from previous games.'

Oh, and 'Shanoa is vapid and soulless and somehow still endearing and attractive.'  I never thought that.  Ever.  Moving on.



We Castlevania fans were all hyped when the series was announced for XBLA, as a good modern console 2D version has been as rare as that last item drop you've waited hours for.  Then it was announced that this new incarnation would:

a.) Be six stages long, with a half-hour timer on each

b.) Be comprised of characters, enemies, stages, and everything else from the last six GBA/DS titles

c.) Not have traditional RPG-lite character leveling

d.) Would feature 6 player co-op play

e.) Would cost 15 bucks worth of Microsoft's imaginary funny money.

Put together, this starts throwing up red flags all over the place.  How would a standard 'Metroidvania' game that thrives off exploration and atmosphere work as a fast-paced attack-spamming teamwork based action-platformer?  It seems counter intuitive to what the series' fans have come to expect.  And indeed, many Castlevania fans will skip this one altogether with only thoughts of vague disappointment over 'what could have been.'

I'm such a fan of the franchise I bought Castlevania Judgment, a game whose design could have worked but instead felt so disconnected it might as well have been Castlevania: DraKart Racers in the Night of Despair, so I approached with tepid caution.  Could I just play this as a single player adventure at all?  Is it too easy to blast through with six vampire killers? (The profession, not the mystical whip.)  How do cleaned up sprites from a low resolution portable, some bordering on a decade old, look on an HD set?  Will it be any fun?  And most importantly, will this give me any juicy story elements for my Alucard-marries-Maria-while-a-lovelorn-Trevor-dies-of-a-broken-heart fanfiction?

Well, there aren't many straight answers over this one.  (Except the last one, which is a solid no.  I don't write fanfics, I leave that to Paul W.S. Anderson.)  Let's get the biggest problems addressed right away:

First, there is no real narrative, no solid story, and no satisfactory explanation as to why the various protagonists from different centuries are gathered together for a slay-ride.  Those assuming Harmony of Despair expands or even links together plot threats in the convoluted Castlevania time-line can give up on getting anything here.

Second, while single player gameplay is possible, it is clear the game design is for multiplayer.  Big chunks of each level are difficult or even inaccessible with only one person, and the bosses are even worse.  There is no scaling for player count; each enemy and boss deals and takes the same damage whether there are one or six heroes, leading some fights to be frustrating and even unfair.  (I'm looking at you, stage 2 Puppet Master.  You are evil even for a Castlevania villain.)  There is fun to be had in single player, but it is much more limited.

Third, and this is directly connected to single player, is that there is no overall 'grinding' that the 'Metroidvania' type games are known for.  Oh, there is certainly farming, but no characters 'level up' overall from repeated monster killing.  The closest are Jonathan and Shanoa's secondary abilities gaining levels through consistent use (which does power up their respective main attacks.)  The rest of the characters have to absorb spells (Charlotte) souls (Soma) learn magic attacks (Alucard) or just get lucky drops for equipment.  For the majority of stats, the only improvement method is through better gear found in random (read: super rare) drops.

Fourth, even for multiplayer, the online setup is clunky.  For a multiplayer experience designed to revolve around farming, players have to form a party before the host selects what level to play.  If your Charlotte needs to farm Death's Scythe attack from level 5, you won't know if the new party you've joined has any intention of going there at all.  Worse, the host can only select levels every party member has gotten to, so if you want to play on Hard mode (where all the best drops are) you just have to hope your entire party that randomly joined has also gotten there, and that the host wants it in the first place.

Fifth, if you're a fellow diehard fan of the series, you've already seen all of these graphics before.  Sure, they look better now than ever, but part of the appeal of each new 2D Castlevania is the excellent art, sprite, and animation design.  Every game in the series borrows some graphical elements from those before, but Harmony of Despair lifts each level wholesale from previous games and rearranges them into an extended remix.

Sixth, menu navigation and documentation are incredibly poor.  'Main Menu' is actually the character equip screen, you can only visit the menus at specific areas in-game, no pausing even in single player, and the game has countless important facets (say, how to level-up spells or use character abilities) that are not described or even mentioned.  You practically have to learn by accident, experimentation, or Gamefaqs.

Seventh, (yes, seventh) no couch co-op!

Eighth, NO COUCH CO-OP!!?!  Wha?  C'mon, that's just lazy, stupid, stupid, greedy, or both.  Wait...well, two at least.  Sure, there would be some tug-o-war with the map zooming on the same screen, but no split screen or anything?  Someone's trying to fleece de moneys out of each and every player.

Ninth, well, see seven and eight.

So why even bother paying $15 for what surely sounds like a bizarre failed experiment?
 
Simply because it can be a ton of fun.

I've already talked almost half a dozen friends who were on the fence or had no interest at all into buying what we all agreed was an overpriced game, and yet we can't stop playing!  For all the missteps and technical issues, grabbing a crew and running through challenging platforming and traditional Castlevania combat just feels right.  It isn't the same as a new 2d Castlevania, but instead a bizarre offshoot that yanks familiar mechanics, sights, and sounds, and congeals into a mutant Frankenstein monster that shouldn't be alive, yet sings and dances.  Even playing online with strangers, something I rarely enjoy, has been an absolute blast.  Almost every night I get messages, texts, or calls asking if I want to play.  That hasn't happened since Halo 3.

It may have ultimately better fit an online mod some kids hacked together for the fun of it, but it actually works.  There are some intelligent design decisions hidden in the clunky and under-documented interface, such as every player getting character specific drops when an item chest is opened, or the dual crush combos between different characters that can decimate certain bosses.  Even the eclectic methods separating each character's farming needs means there are always reasons to go back to earlier levels with beginner parties.  And even if they are from previous games, the controls, graphics, music, and effects are the same quality goods we've come to expect.  Not superb, but definitely Castlevania.

The interest will fade, as it is a limited design.  But our crew is having so much fun farming loot and making different character builds that for the time being it has been money well spent.  Who would have thought?

What's next, an iPhone puzzle game based on Symphony of the Night?



Oh.  Nevermind.

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