Hey now, everybody!
Sorry it took me so long to get to the second installment. Sadly, the last several Tuesday hauls haven't amounted to-- well, I'll let the late motivational speaker Matt Foley say it (at the 9-second mark):
God, I miss Chris Farley...
...but not nearly as much as David Spade's career does.
But I digress. Things really turned around for me on the first three Tuesdays of April:
April 3rd
[img width=286 height=386]http://www.mediafire.com/convkey/e652/0b6t6wr9o1sb4o65g.jpg[/img]
- InterAct 5-input AV selector switch box, $3.99
CIB (unless noted otherwise) Sega Genesis games for $2.10 each:
- Crue Ball
- Rings of Power
- McDonald's Treasure Land Adventure
- Shadow of the Beast II
- Haunting, Starring Poulterguy
- King's Bounty: The Conqueror's Quest (no manual)
- Buck Rogers: Countdown to Doomsday
Rounding out the day's retro haul were the following loose carts for $1.99 each:
- Spy Hunter (NES)
- Super Mario Kart (SNES)
- Donkey Kong Country 2 (SNES)
- The Adventures of Might Max (SGen) (I only bought this one 'cuz I dug the label art)
- Pac-Attack (Game Gear)
- Pinball Dreams (Game Gear)
- Super Mario Land 2 (Game Boy)
- Wario Land: SML 3 (Game Boy)
- Pokemon Blue (Game Boy)
I also grabbed a copy of the Prima strategy guide for Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic...
...only to discover I already had a copy in my collection. (I definitely hafta look into this smart-phone-app thing so I can keep track of what I have)
Finally, there was the brandy-new triple-pack of Skylanders figures. I'm kinda ashamed to admit it, but... I'm really diggin' that silly game. I finally get the whole "Gotta catch 'em all!" philosophy of Pokemon, 'cuz I gotta have all of the Skylanders figures and adventure packs. And I'm almost there...
April 10th
[img width=368 height=386]http://www.mediafire.com/convkey/200e/mqyxmlx04l9g7m75g.jpg[/img]
- Pelican Arcade Fighter Fully Analog Joystick for PS2, $3.99
- Prince of Persia: Revelations (PSP), $1.95
- Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City Stories (Greatest hits)(PSP), $1.95
- $4.99 grab bag with a CIB copy of BrainAge for the DS, Sonic 2 and Sonic Chaos Game Gear carts, and Super Mario Land 2 Game Boy cart
The local Salvation Army had 3-cart bundles of N64 games for $7.99 a bundle, and I picked out three of interest, which included:
- Super Mario 64
- Mario Kart 64
- WWE WrestleMania 2000
- Madden 2001
- Super Smash Bros
- Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
- South Park
- 007: The World is Not Enough
- Charlie Blast's Territory
April 17th
[img width=388 height=386]http://www.mediafire.com/convkey/8d8c/719h245e4tf9b5e5g.jpg[/img]
The day started with the acquisition of several loose Sega Genesis carts for $1.99 each:
- Castlevania: Bloodlines
- Tinhead
- Williams Arcade's Greatest Hits
- Joe & Mac
- Jurassic Park: Rampage Edition
Then continued with:
- The Bard's Tale (PS2)
- Devil May Cry 2 (PS2)
- Pro Pinball: Big Race USA (PS1)
- M&Ms Shell Shocked! (PS1)
- G-Loc: Air Battle (Game Gear)
- Predator 2 (Game Gear)
- Dragon Crystal[/i] (Game Gear)
- Defender/Joust[/i] (GB)
- Dreamcast with AV cord
- Street Fighter II: Special Champion Edition (CIB)(SGen)
[img width=504 height=600]http://www.mediafire.com/convkey/4843/wo3bygvavzwnxqq5g.jpg[/img]
I also acquired a chunk of new stuff, starting with the arrival of the Kid Icarus: Uprising I ordered from Amazon.
Later in the day, I took advantage of a Best Buy Skylanders promotion, where I received an exclusive Volcanic Vault piece after buying the frustratingly rare Dragon's Peak adventure pack, and a Wrecking Ball figure.
I made my final purchase of the day at the Toys R Us across the parking lot from the Best Buy. I didn't intend to buy anything, just browse. But then I saw that the latest ish of Nintendo Power included a set of AR cards for Kid Icarus: Uprising. It became the first non-back-issue Nintendo Power I've ever bought. Sheesh-- first it's Skylanders with the figurines, and now it's the new Kid Icarus with the freakin' cards. They really know how to reel me in, lemme tell ya.
Eh, just thinking about it is way too depressing. Time to switch gears and move on to...
... The TL;DR Sidebar!
- The biggest missed opportunity of the week-- or three weeks, rather: I was at a brand-new Goodwill when I noticed a customer had a boxed Sonic 2 edition Sega Genesis console in his cart, with the box in excellent condition, priced at $14.99.
- Then there's the biggest crack-smoker of the week, which goes to the thrift store that prices up its used video games so ridiculously high, the people in charge of pricing have to be smoking crack. This (dis)honor goes to the Mountain View Goodwill, which was asking $20.99 each for its CIB PSP games... most of which no longer sell for that much brand-new! They also had several loose UMDs that they were trying to move out for $6.99 each.
I'll leave you with a few thoughts from a truly visionary fan of interactive entertainment. Sadly, outside of Japan, his vision remains largely unfulfilled to this day. Please note that, while the crude illustrations that accompany the audio are safe for work, the audio itself is another story. So be sure to have your headphones at the ready for...
Until next time-- whenever that might be...
...'Late
Hey now!
So, you think you're greener than I am when it comes to gaming?
Then you've got another think comin', mister!
I'm so green, I could run around in the nude on St. Patrick's Day, and be completely pinch proof!
Ummm...
Wow, sometimes I even creep myself out.
*Cough* Moving on: I'm a big proponent of the whole "Reduce-reuse-recycle" philosophy. The vast majority of my collection is second-hand, which means I'm REUSING stuff that others have, in a sense, RECYCLED by directly selling to me via yard sales or indirectly via thrift stores. And by selling or donating, they've REDUCED their stock of unwanted games. Heck, I do a little recycling of my own with some reselling here and there, which generates my favorite kind of greenery.
And need I point out that the whole reduce-reuse-recycle deal also lessens the impact of our carbon footprint on... something or other. Actually, I don't fully understand the mechanics of the whole "carbon footprint" deal, so I'm probably talking from where the sun doesn't shine in this instance. If only I hadn't lost the number to Al Gore's direct line; I'm sure he could explain it to me...
But, what about supporting local small businesses? Hey, you can't get a smaller, more local business than a weekend garage sale just down the road! Fortunately for me, I reside in a region that usually has decent weather year-round, with sprawling suburbs that range from lower-middle to upper-middle class. These conditions provide a lot of opportunities for good deals, and a wide range of selection on Saturday mornings! Which, sadly, I've been unable to take advantage of lately, 'cuz I work Saturday mornings... *SOB*
Hey, you know what? If I expand the scope of "local" to include the San Francisco bay area, and throw in a few BIG businesses-- because hey, why not?-- no one's closer to the action than I am! There's Namco Bandai Electronic Games Inc. in San Jose which, according to Google maps, is 15.9 miles away from my front door. Then there's Redwood City some thirty-odd miles up the peninsula, home of Electronic Arts Inc., Konami of America, and Capcom USA Inc. Just beyond Redwood City is Foster City, where Sony Computer Entertainment of America is based. Then it's on to the city itself, where Sega of America has called home for over a decade after moving from Redwood City. And we mustn't forget Atari, which came into existence just a few miles up the road forty years ago.
And while they're neither exclusively nor directly involved with gaming, I mustn't forget eBay and NetFlix, both of which are a mere eight-minute drive away from me. Speaking of driving: I've delivered pizzas to both of these places on several occasions back in the day, and neither of 'em were very big on tipping. Just an FYI...
And speaking of pizza: I am well aware that Chuck E. Cheese's was founded 'round my neck of the woods. Man, are you guys really so jealous of my greenness and locality that you'd throw that in my face? Sheesh-- grow up, willya!
In all seriousness, however, I really do support the reuse and recycling of game software and hardware, though not exactly for noble reasons. Basically, I'm a cheap@$$, and will add just about any game of interest to my collection if the price is right, regardless of its cosmetic condition. All that matters to me is that it plays properly. That isn't to say that I won't trade up-- or is it level up?-- for an item in better condition if the opportunity arises. I do have some vanity after all.
I also support a local business-- an e-waste recycler, no less-- also for less than noble reasons. Thanks to a conversation I struck up with one of the company's managers at a garage sale, I'm allowed to look through their stock of wasted stuff for spare parts... so long as I have e-waste of my own to, er, "exchange." haven't found much yet, but at least I have an avenue there.
Anyhoo, I wish you all a happy Earth Day. Stay green my long-haired tree-hugging compatriots!
Oh yeah, and keep it on channel 3.
'Late
They're outrageous! Downright scandalous, even! But what I'm about to show you are actual, honest-to-goodness images of noted video game characters flaunting their nudity like the disturbed and perverted sickos that they are! So have the kids leave the room for a while, and get ready for some righteous indignation when you take a gander at these disturbing snapshots!
Let's start with...
Downright sickening, isn't it?
But it wasn't bad enough that Sonic was cavorting around in the buff...
[img width=300 height=327]http://www.freewebs.com/tailstails/tails%20and%20sonic.bmp[/img]
Holy crap, Tails, Pedobear's heading this way!
...he also went and indoctrinated an innocent child into his twisted, loop-de-loopy world of pants-free hijinks. Well, at least the lady folk of the Sonicverse have some sense of modesty. Although I do find Amy's enabling of her crush's pathetic fetish rather abhorrent.
But there ain't no modesty whatsoever when it comes to this reptilian monstrosity:
[img width=300 height=325]http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120202140355/spyro/images/2/2e/175766-spyro_the_dragon_large.jpg[/img]
Please tell me you're not "getting happy" to this pic.
He's platformed his way through three different continuities over the last decade or so, with nary a stitch of fabric to be found on his person in any of them. Even more disgusting is the fact that the latest Spyro series is a big hit with the young'uns-- just as those demonic minions of Satan over at ActiVision had planned-- making Video Game Jesus weep tears of blood.
[img width=700 height=393]http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20111127081750/spyro/images/d/d2/Spyro_and_the_human_boy.jpg[/img]
I live only to carry out your every whim, Lord Spyro.
If you're a parent who's letting your kids play Skylanders, you'd do well to turn yourself in to child protective services right now, and throw yourself upon the mercy of the family court. But before you do, please send all of your child's Skylanders figures to me-- especially the "Dragon's Keep" adventure pack and the Toys 'R' Us-exclusive legendary 3-pac-- and I'll dispose of them in a discreet and environmentally responsible manner. Thank you for your cooperation.
And now, the worst offender of them all: POKEMON!
[img width=414 height=205]http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lyeg9xENk11rnxnaoo1_500.jpg[/img]
Rule 34 will commence in 4... 3... 2...
Get a load of this:
[img width=256 height=187]http://cdn.bulbagarden.net/media/upload/a/ab/449Hippopotas.png[/img]
It's so ugly, it oughtta be wearing a freakin' burka.
Then there's this:
[img width=260 height=240]http://cdn.bulbagarden.net/media/upload/e/ec/122Mr._Mime.png[/img]
Quite frankly, I don't care if he looks like he's wearing clothes. Dressed or not, Mr. Mime is a horrid crime of nature that needs to be exterminated with extreme prejudice, for the greater good of all mankind.
Otherwise:
[img width=576 height=500]http://cdn1.gamepro.com/blogfaction/images/MR-MIME.jpg[/img]
Finally, dare you cast your gaze upon--
[img width=180 height=284]http://media.pokemoncentral.it/wiki/thumb/a/a9/Artwork585-Autunno.png/180px-Artwork585-Autunno.png[/img]
--d'awwwww, isn't it the most adorable thing you've ever seen? How can you get angry at that disarming smile? You can't, that's how! Who's my little deerling? Huh? Who's my bestest friend in the whole wide world? That's right, you are! Now go play with the other wholesome and innocent Pokemon critters, you silly thing. Say hi to Mr. Mime for me, willya?
Speaking of Pokemon: although I 've plenty of reasons to despise the whole "pocket-monster" phenomenon, a Cracked.com featurette gave me one more appallingly disturbing reason:
That's not what you kids are calling the clitoris, is it?
Sheesh... that little whack-job has three fully functional GBA SPs, and I'm still stuck with a glorified paperweight:
[img width=263 height=385]http://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/46089200d5e7ecd9b7b3626c92f1d91b66a320355f2be4050f519f8e7d203e675g.jpg[/img]
Oh God, I think I'm gonna be sick...
I gotta find out where that kid lives, break in, gank one of his GBAs-- no wait, all three of 'em-- keep one for myself, and find a nice home for the other two.
Homes where they'll be treated with the dignity and respect they deserve.
Homes where they'll never be forced to endlessly run that g0dd@mned Pokemon cr@p, ever again.
Homes where they'll never get screamed at by an adolescent lunatic.
If you'd like to join me on this most merciful rescue mission, please drop me a line and we'll hammer out a plan. I'll throw ya one of the GBAs and his silver edition TI-84 calculator as payment.
Come on, you know it's the right thing to do. Who's with me on this?
'Course, it'd be a good idea to pick up a few supplies for the mission. Looks like a trip to T.M. Leon's Boom-Stick, Firewater and Vuvuzela Emporium is in order.
Now where did my rewards card go off to?
'Late
Whew, it's a good thing I decided to save my blogs, just in case something like the Great RF Generation Outage of 2012 should ever happen.
I've even added a few "enhancements" to this particular entry. Whether or not they improve upon the original version is debatable.
Anyway, here we go: take two, aaaaand... ACTION!
(Originally posted on January 31, 2012)
Hey now!
Feeling like ripping off inspired by the Procopio Brothers' Game Hunt Chronicles blog series, I figured I'd do a little bragging of my own about my best Tuesday game hauls. And Tuesday, January 24, yielded the biggest single-day score of the year for me thus far.
Let me tell you all about it:
It all began at the Savers thrift store in Milpitas. I'd just discovered a bunch of White Dwarf and Dragon back issues in the magazine section which, at $0.29 each, were a far cry from their original 6-dollars-plus cover prices. However, I had yet to see anything really good in the way of video games aside from a couple old EGMs and a CIB copy of Zoom! for the Genesis. I figured it was worth dropping $1.99 plus tax on, even if it did look like some kind of Q-Bert wannabe.
I was milling around the jewelry & electronics showcase about ready to leave, when a Savers employee arrived with a box full of CIB GameCube and PS2 games for $3.99 a pop. I was only too happy to help lighten her burden by taking the following titles before she could shelve them:
- Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door
- WarioWorld
- Pokemon: Gale of Darkness XD
- Resident Evil Zero
- WarioWare: Mega Party Games!
- Super Mario Strikers
- Mario Superstar Baseball
- Super Smash Bros. Melee (Player's Choice)
- Luigi's Mansion (Player's Choice)
- Rayman 2: Revolution (PS2)
- Warhammer 40K: Fire Warrior (PS2)
Now, that's timing!
Next stop on my trek was the San Jose Savers. Sadly, all it yielded were a couple Prima Tomb Raider guides for $1.99 each.
[img width=544 height=582]http://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/a67b155c3026e7f924bd1d24211e68db67ae53d4107aa11762360f5e7fe719bc5g.jpg[/img]
Undaunted, I drove a couple miles south and arrived at the Rasputin used record store in Campbell just as it was opening. It has consistently yielded some good Tuesday game deals for me, and this day was no exception, as I grabbed the following CIB (unless noted otherwise) goodies:
- ModNation Racers (PSP) $1.95
- Chicken Blaster (Wii, disc in sleeve) $0.95
- Whacked! (XBox) $1.95
- Scarface: The World is Yours (Greatest Hits)(PS2) $0.95
- Dai Senryaku VII (XBox) $1.95
Sadly, I missed out on a CIB copy of What Did I Do to Deserve This, My Lord?! 2 because it was missing its price tag, which meant it had to be sent back to the main store in Berserkely to be priced. In the weeks that followed, I never saw it at either the Campbell or Mountain View locations.
Speaking of which: I culminated my Tuesday crawl with a trip up to Rasputin's new Mountain View location, where I snapped up:
- Kingdom Hearts: Birth by Sleep (PSP) $5.95
- Fat Princess: Fistful of Cake (PSP) $5.95
- Gitaroo Man (PS2) $1.95
- Animal Crossing (Player's Choice)(NGC, no memory card) $0.95
[img width=465 height=569]http://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/aa5baea758533e197bf5b08f00237c231cfe1c655b917d7e5c56a72c9ace413d5g.jpg[/img]
And that pretty much sums up one of the most successful Tuesday game hunts I've ever undertaken.
But wait, there's more!
It's...
...the TL;DR SIDEBAR!
- My best non-Tuesday gaming pickup for this week was a sealed copy of Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time for the 3DS for $7.99.
- My best non-gaming score of the prior week: the aforementioned back issues of White Dwarf and Dragon.
Honorable mentions: a Rokenbok R/C toy controller for $1.50, and a Nerf Maverick for $0.99.
[img width=568 height=560]http://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/b19ce71057faab0998003df82aabc4c901944505922a00cdedea84c91f5dfc505g.jpg[/img]
- I've apparently attained over 1000 pieces of game software and hardware. However, I decided to audit my collection to see if what I actually have matches up to what I've recorded. This process is gonna take me some time, but when it's all said and done, at least I'll know if I've really achieved the four-figure plateau. It's also a great opportunity to organize the collection, which has been getting unwieldy as of late.
- Sadly, tragedy struck in the midst of this amazing score. If you're not too squeamish or faint of heart, scroll down to see a pic of the gruesome scene:
[img width=372 height=545]http://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/46089200d5e7ecd9b7b3626c92f1d91b66a320355f2be4050f519f8e7d203e675g.jpg[/img]
Oh the humanity!
Until next week (if not sooner)...
...'Late
Hey now, everybody!
Here's a poser for you: what is the significance of today's date?
That's right: Shigeru Miyamoto is celebrating his 59th birthday!
(Well, technically, he celebrated it yesterday. Freakin' International Date Line...)
But even more importantly: one year ago today, I signed on with this motley band of lunatics and hell-raisers that is the RF Generation. Somehow I managed to go a whole year without gettin' the banhammer. Which, considering my past experience with message boards, is no small feat. I guess I just wasn't tryin' hard enough...
Never the less, I think it's only fair for me to acknowledge and give props to the fellow 'Generators who have had the greatest impact on me over the last 365 days:
Although I've conveyed my gratitude to him many times over--and not just because I'm trying to stay on his good side--I gotta give it up yet again for Shadow Kisuragi, who effortlessly fielded my endless stream of questions about submissions and DB rules with a high degree of casual professionalism. But best of all, he introduced me to GameCenter CX. And just when I thought I'd never watch a TV show on a semi-regular basis ever again...
Izret101 and Tynstar were also a big help on several of my submissions, so don't think I forgot about ya's.
Thanks to CrabMaster2000's "Unloved" blogs, SingleBanana's Atari 2600 retro reviews, NoiseRedux's shmup recommendations, and Scarper's Game Boy write-ups, my wish list is perpetually full and my disposable income nonexistent. Now if that isn't what friends are for, then I don't know what is.
Special thanks to James, who struck a much-needed blow to my ignorance by letting me know the volume of a proper pub pint, and setting me straight about the whole zee-zed deal.
HungryMoose's console and cartridge cleaning tips proved quite helpful and effective. Though I must admit I balked at a few of them initially. My apologies for doubting you, good sir.
To Blkblskt and Phoenix1967: OLD-SCHOOL OLD-SCHOOL OLD-SCHOOL OLD-SCHOOL NYAH-NAH-NYAH-NYAH NEENER-NEENER-NEENER! Heh.
Oh, and how could I forget ReddMcKnight, RF Generation's most prominent Power Glove proponent? I couldn't, that's how. Perhaps that highly-maligned peripheral isn't "so bad" after all...
Speaking of which: I applaud The Maligned Leon for finding the courage and conviction to kick his vuvuzela habit. You, sir, are made of far sterner stuff than I could ever hope to be... er, made of. Oh, and I'll try to to be a better drunken fill-in for you the next time you head off to "Canadia" for a spell.
I also mustn't leave out ixtaileddemonfox, the first fellow 'Generator I traded with. I'm sending a little something your way in the next couple weeks, so be on the lookout. Consider it an early Christmas present...
And last but hardly least: a toast to Bickman2k, the first RF Generation denizen to invite me to be added to his Yahoo and MSN IM lists. I'm not exactly sure why you'd wanna converse with me outside the confines of RF Generation, but I'm grateful none the less.
Here's to the next 365 366 days. Which, with a little luck, will be eventful in all the right ways...
'Late
Hey now!
Ever since Shadow Kisuragi started posting the GameCenter CX series on RFG, I've been absolutely captivated by the Kacho and his valiant efforts to conquer the most maddeningly difficult old school retro games ever produced. So much so, in fact, that I've started watching the later shows on YouTube.
However, if you think I'm gonna horn in on Shadz's action by posting GameCenter CX episodes on my blog, you've got another thing comin'. As far as I'm concerned, that's Shadz's prerogative, and I'm not gonna play a fellow 'Generator like that. More importantly, however, the dude's part of the site admin, which means he most likely has access to the dreaded RFG banhammer. So it's a really good idea for me--and all of you as well--to stay on his good side. Ya dig? 
Well, actually I am horning in on the action, albeit in a roundabout way: by posting a few of the 3DS commercials Arino has starred in. Much like GameCenter CX itself, the commercials show the beloved Kacho failing hard, yet taking it all in stride with that happy-go-lucky demeanor his fans have come to know and love.
Anyway, enjoy:
http://www.youtube.com/wa...ch?NR=1&v=IO0Pni5QYiA
BTW am I the only one who'd like to see Arino try to play a retro game while drunk? Tell me that wouldn't be the greatest thing ever...
Hey now!
Okay, this is for real: if I find out that any of you are acting like these guys...
See? You don't need XBox Live to experience angry teenagers spouting racial slurs.
...I'm gonna find out where you live, bust your front door down, back you into the far corner of your game room, and...
...give you a really stern talking to, and tell you to knock that $#!t off.
And if it happens a second time, I'm gonna return, confiscate your collection at gunpoint, keep for myself what I want, and distribute the remainder amongst my far-more-deserving fellow 'Generators.
(I'm sure The Maligned One would be willing to hook me up with some firepower if I toss him a chunk of the confiscated swag as a rental fee)
...
Oh, all right, I'll admit it: this isn't really for real; I'm just bein' an internet tough guy here. While the whole "warning/confiscation" deal is something I'd like to do--and really should be done--the travel expenses would be ridiculously high. Especially if I had to go abroad to bring great justice to the deserving party. Also, I enjoy being outside the walls of a federal or foreign prison far more than I do inside them.
It just saddens me to see visual evidence of such nonsense, you know?
And yet, I also find the whole deal somewhat amusing, and compelling. Now I understand why certain so-called reality shows--particularly the celebrity-rehab ones--are popular. It's because people love watching complete fukkk-ups engaging in heinously self-destructive behavior. It makes the viewer feel better about his / her own pathetic life. And the above video fits the bill perfectly.
'Course, it would've been sadder--and way more amusing--if they were carrying on that way over a NES. Or, better yet, an Atari Jaguar.
Hey, methinks I've got a great show idea for G4... Hollywood, here I come!
'Late
UPDATE: A few hours after I first submitted this blog, YouTube closed down the account the embedded video came from.
The story of my life, ya know?
Fortunately(?), I found the video elsewhere on the site, and slapped it over the spot where the old one used to be. Hopefully, this one will be a bit more permanent...
'Later
 |
Posted on Jun 15th 2011 at 11:00:00 AM by ( Zagnorch) Posted under Summer, mario, ratchet, sonic, tecmo, bowl, challenge, wii, fit, psp, ds |
Greetings from Terra...
Between trying to make my temp job permanent, shaping up, sprucing up the Zagnorch Ponderosa, and getting the ol' lemon running properly, I figured I wouldn't be able to get in on the RF Generation summer gaming challenge for lack of time to devote to it.
But then I realized I have a ton of games I'm either part-way through or this close to completing, and I figured I could take care of 'em in my sparse spare time. I know it's something of a cop-out, and a lazy way to go. But, given the situation, it's the best I can do.
And away we go:
[img width=700 height=392]http://www1.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/4154d5867a99eb3360aafc5a5bd9721c26e5fc5c1a460a33aefb300c5fa9918c5g.jpg[/img]
Super Mario 64 DS: 134 stars down, 16 to go.
StarFox Command (DS): I'm stuck on that level where you use the stylus to clear away part of the cloud cover to reveal where the enemy is hiding.
Bomberman DS: I've yet to get past the boss on Level 8.
The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past (SNES): It's been so long since I last played this, I've forgotten where I left off...
Tecmo Super Bowl (SNES): All I want to do is get the 49ers to win a Super Bowl on three-year mode. My last three-year deal saw me lose two consecutive NFC championships before getting waxed in the Super Bowl in season three...
...by the Buffalo Bills.
THE FREAKING BILLS!!! WHAT THE #3LL, MAN!!!
CrossworDS: I've been chipping away at this one for the last couple years. While it also includes word search and anagrams, I'm focused on finishing just the crossword puzzles.
Sonic Rush (DS): Forget about the d@mn fourth chaos emerald-- it's the fershlugginer seventh one I'm having a #3lluva a time grabbing...
Super Mario Advance 2: Super Mario World (GBA): I still haven't gotten past that level where I hafta let Yoshi plunge to his death to save my own sorry @$$. I've killed enough Yoshis and Marios on this level to fill a virtual Grand Canyon. O, the soul-crushing guilt...
Ratchet & Clank: Size Matters (PSP): I've been neglecting my PSP lately, so I figure I should finish up Size Matters before it sics child protective services on me.
Wii Fit Plus: Actually, I haven't started this one yet. Never the less, I figure I'd give it a go to supplement my efforts to shape up this summer. I'm not so sure there's a way to properly beat or finish it, though. I suppose I can consider it "beaten" when I make my goal weight.
And there you have it. For the most part, I'm aiming to complete a buncha fruity handheld platformer-adventure titles I've been procrastinating on, with nary an uber-hardcore title in the lot.
G0d, I am such a chick...
'Late
Hey now!
Are you lookin' to satisfy your gaming jones with up to three of your friends, and you possess a flat, stable surface and a decent amount of natural light, but you've no hardware or electricity? Well then, why not whip this out:
Get ready for hours of incredible fun and improbable excitement with your fellow luddites when you play the Super Mario Advance mini board game! Put out way back when by those charming purveyors of pediatric obesity at Wendy's, this crowd-pleaser harkens back to the good ol' days of gaming that gramps used to incessantly natter on about before mom & dad shipped him off to the retirement villa!
This bad boy's features include, but aren't limited to:
- Ten different playable Marioverse characters to choose from, from everybody's fave pipe-warping protagonist to the one-game wonder Wart! Okay, so every character has the exact same power level, and possesses the same singular ability: to move up to five spaces per turn. Hey, big whoop, okay? Personally, I like to play as Luigi 'cuz I identify with his inferiority complex, cowardice, and inability to garner any respect from his peers whatsoever. Boy, do I have issues...
- Compact & portable, with only the smallest bit of assembly and setup required!
- No need for bulky GBA units, messy link cables, or cramp-inducing controllers to play!
- The Super Mario Advance mini board game runs on a minimal amount of personal bioelectric energy that's easily replenished with a few swigs of Mountain Dew and a handful of Cheetos!
- Fast-paced game play! Just slightly slower than a couple rounds of WarioWare microgames, the Super Mario Advance mini board game is made to order for all you speed-runners out there!
- Classic-style graphics along with smooth and responsive controls that pay tribute to such legendary titles as Candy Land, Sorry!, and Chutes & Ladders! And by "tribute," I mean "an outright rip-off."
- Replayability! Oh, don't you even get me started on replayability! No, really, I don't wanna talk about it-- it's way too soon after the break-up.
But wait, there's more! Just flip the board over--carefully now, that's it--and you and your geekin' cronies can get into some hot Mario Kart action! (Not that kind of hot action you degenerate!)
It's two!... Two!!... TWO GAMES IN ONE!!!
Or three games in one if you consider this a scaled-down real-world version of Mario Party. And party you will... especially now that you can invite your Amish friends over to throw down! You just might be up 'til ten tonight, you scofflaw, you!
So what are you waiting for?! Grab your very own copy of the Super Mario Advance mini board game today! Or whenever it's being offered on eBay or CraigsList, hopefully complete and in decent condition. Which could be any day now... mmmyep...
- 'Late
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