http://videolamer.com/index.php/2757"It was like a goddamned hardware launch only the following morning the mass of those proprietors overrun by game dorks just hours earlier would be rich with bloom; their walls stacked to bear out those morsels to which Bungie executives owe their Hummers, Audis and yes, the occasional EVO."
"I laugh freely at those droves for reasons that start with a grasp of the mildly absurd and stretch on into infinity. Is this not a video game we are talking about? Was the game immediately preceding not critically panned, publicly questioned and, dare I say it, as ugly as that lizard baby from V: The Final Battle? "
" I’ve always seen it as sort of a console nerd’s answer to real FPS gaming. There were other console FPSs before Halo, but Halo was the only one I got 13yr olds bragging to me about p0wning. Halo is the default go-to game for people who want to pretend they are hardcore gamers but really have a fair amount of difficulty determining whether or not the television is actually on."
"I’m just saying that I’ve popped off my share of heads, and done so with Jesus Christ’s own mouse and keyboard. He lent it to me for smiting fools. That’s right, Jesus plays UT. WWJD? WSAD."
"I think console FPSs are for boys who pee sitting down. BOOM; head-shot."
"Now that we’ve established the rules of this universe, I’d like to crack it in half by telling you that I absolutely enjoyed the HELL out of the Halo 3 campaign. I think it is a tight bit of FPS on an engine that absolutely drips with refinement."
"1. Console FPSs suck for anyone with a PC and, um, skill. If you can’t find a way to make sense of this you can take your purse, capri pants and subscription to Teen magazine and go home.
2. Halo 3 is Halo: Combat Evolved, only it has actually evolved into what they wanted the first time through. The crappy excuse for a story is evidence of this.
3. At the end of the day, the game is a badass good time if you want to get into a quality ass-kicking situation, even if it reminds you of UT2004 just a little."
Best "flamebait/review" ever.
Another great one:
http://www.gamecritics.com/halo-3-reviewBest part of that review is all the butthurt Halo fanboys BAWWWWWWWWWWWWing over the review score in the comments.
Another great article from the same site:
http://www.gamecritics.com/reviewing-the-reviewersThis one criticizes commercial game sites and their reviewing of Halo 3 and other hyped up games.
"A few years back I gave The Chronicles of Riddick: Escape from Butcher Bay a 10. It was a beautiful and brilliant game that melded numerous genres into a fluid, exciting, and wholly unique experience. From what I can see, no one is claiming that Halo 3 does anything like that. The consensus seems to be that the gameplay is mainly just a minor refinement of Halo 2; that there are some level design issues later in the game; and that the experience lacks the "newness" of Halo. 1UP.com even went so far as to say, "...in Halo 3, the big 'oh wow!' gameplay moments just aren't there"—but they gave the game a 10/10 anyway. Now, having not played Halo 3, I can't say personally whether it's as great as it's being made out to be—I'm only saying that the press has, in my view, done a poor job of substantiating their ratings."
