|
Well, Boys and Girls, Harry Potter 7 is here. I know I'm pumped. Not. Of course you all know the big story in the nerd world this week was the leaking of the book onto teh intarnetz via BitTorrent. The hoopla surrounding this thing is absurd. There were actually people writing fake books, in some cases hundreds of pages long, and distributing them in place of the real thing. Almost equally disturbing, the proper bootleg copy was actually a set of JPEG photos taken via digital camera of each and every page of the book. Unholy Satan! Someone needs to get a job. You can have one of mine. I don't like them.
For those of you who don't already know, Harry dies. Hermione marries Malfoy. Ron is the last Horcrux and Snape is really Dumbledore in disguise.
Warning: there were spoilers in that last part. If you don't want to read them, skip it.
Next week the San Diego ComicCon is coming up. Interestingly, most of the comic related movies that were scheduled to be screened at the convention were pulled by Fox studios earlier this week. They apparently claimed the films weren't finished yet and refused to say anything further. It's fishy as hell and no one can even speculate about their real reasoning at the moment. One way or another, if you got tickets to ComiCon so you could see Aliens vs. Predator or Hitman early, you got screwed.
Also, for those of you who saw that bizarre, nameless movie preview before transformers (I mentioned it in this column a few weeks ago). Producer J.J. Abrams will be revealing the title of the film and possibly some more information at the ComiCon.
Until next week, I'll be crossing my fingers that great Cthulhu awakens from his death sleep to swallow the whole of civilization into his giant gaping maw.
This week we've heard cliché muggle pun after muggle pun from thousands of clueless TV news anchors around the globe. That can only mean one thing: I'll be sleeping through yet another Harry Potter installment. That's right. The pubescent wizard returned in the fifth franchise film, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Sadly, Emma Watson does not show her muggles at any point during the film. That girl can wave my magic wand any time she likes.
The 5th Harry Potter movie will be followed in two weeks by the 7th Harry Potter book, which analysts speculate will place J.K. Rowlings on the Forbes list somewhere between Bill Gates and God. God declined to comment.
As I predicted last week, the PS3 is now $100 cheaper, despite Sony's previous delusional claims to the opposite. Now a few more people on the aforementioned Forbes list will be able to afford one.
Aside from those things, this has been a really slow week for geeks. There hasn't been any huge gaming news, and North America's largest video game convention certainly isn't going on or anything...
Which brings me to E3. Bring back the booth babes. Really. I mean it. Guys who are into this stuff don't get to see beautiful half naked girls anywhere else. You've all seen the charts showing how the number of hours spent playing World of Warcraft is inversely proportional to the amount of sex you have. Please, developers, have pity on your loyal neck-bearded followers. Give them something to remember. Especially since nothing else you're doing seems to be catching anyone's interest.
Seriously, what is up with these games? A new Nights? The main selling point is that you can fly? Is that really the best they could come up with? Really? You could fly in the first Nights and nobody cared. Let me give you perspective: It was the mid nineties. All we had were 2D games. Sega made a game that was in full 3D in which you could fly with 360 degrees of freedom and no one cared then. What marketing genius green-lighted this newest debacle? I hope it was the same people who came up with the 32X.
Speaking of 32X, Nintendo sure is showing off some neat-o stuff. How about this steering wheel? They've literally just made a plastic holder for the Wii-mote. This is almost as dumb as the horizontal stand for the PS2 (I could write a ten page article on that stupidity, but I'll spare you). Peripherals like that are for people who refer to their games as "tapes". As in, "I have nine tapes for my Nintendo Wii."
There are a few promising games showing at the convention. The idea of online Mario Kart has potential. Assassin's Creed could be fun.
We'll see as E3 continues. Keep checking back with RFgeneration.com for the latest news.
Who else is pumped about the new Contra for the NDS? I know I am. I watched the gameplay footage earlier this week and when it started I thought I was looking at a port of Super C for a second. When I realized I wasn't, I got really excited. Games like this and Dawn of Sorrow are really tempting me to go out and buy a DS, which would be way better than the hole in my left pants pocket that serves as my current "portable system", if you know what I mean. There need to be a lot more old school games like this out in the current market. I don't know why there aren't. They can't possibly cost much to produce, and hardcore gamers (and scrub posers) eat them up like candy.
Transformers came out this week and, as with any major nerd event, The Evil Leon was on it. For those of you who haven't seen it, it's even more fun than shooting at your neighbor's cat. If you live in Ohio like me, that's A LOT of fun. Also, there is a trailer running before the film for a movie that has no name yet and, according to internet speculation, might involve Cthulhu.....or the Master Chief....or Gears of War....Godzilla...or something. Anyway, the trailer is pretty neat and you can stay and watch Transformers afterward.
The debate blah blah blah Manhunt 2. Blah blah blah blah ESRB. Blah blah "@%&@$%^**!!$*&(*@%*&^&%&@%^," says a representative at Rockstar, adding "!%^&&!%^&**&($^&*^@." We all know this story. Somethingawful had an amazing article about it earlier this week. Personally, I'd like to see what all the fuss is about. I've yet to see any specific content cited as being more offensive than anything in the last Manhunt -from any of the parties involved. Until that news breaks, it's pretty obvious somebody is caving to pressure from watchdog groups. Of course, by "watchdog" I mean "communist" and by "groups" I mean "bastards."
Everyone is talking about the PS3 price drop. Will it happen? Will it not? Well, Sony is denying the Hell out of it. If that means anything, you can be sure the PS3 will be $100 cheaper next month. Now we will only have to pay $500 to play horribly uninspired sports and racing games. I can't wait to get one!
|
|
|
|
