I have a confession to make.

No, I don't just make up games to put in my collection, 'The Earth Dies Screaming' is a real Atari 2600 game.

No, I'm not a figure skater in real life.

No, I don't buy every copy of Halo Wars and destroy them in a
fruitless attempt to make the price of mine skyrocket.

No, I haven't forsaken my DS and PSP for a N-Gage.  But you're getting warmer...

I have, sitting on my shelf, Mass Effect 2, Bio Shock 2, AVP, Darksiders, and Dante's Inferno.  I've put a few hours into each, and very much enjoyed my time.  But they've all sat on the shelf collecting dust for two or more weeks, despite my excitement to play each title.

Why?

I can't believe I'm typing this, but-

My name is Jesse Miles, and I'm an iPhone Game Addict.

This coming from the guy who, until a few weeks ago, never played a cell phone game more complicated than 'Snake' on a tiny keypad seven years ago.
 
It started innocently enough, with my wife wanting an iPhone.  Now this awesome chick never asks for much of anything for herself, especially techno-oriented.  So, when she researched the iPhone and genuinely wanted one but thought it too expensive for her, it made the perfect birthday present.  And since it was contractually cheaper for me to replace my own worn out brick of a phone, I got one too.

A month later and she can safely pilot the Space Shuttle through orbit with hers, and I was delighted to find that mine has a calender.  (disclosure- I'm not tech-illiterate, I just don't care.  It's a phone.  I call people.  I don't need to command an army of NES R.O.B.s with the thing.  Although there's probably an app for that.)

So, I'm researching game sites as per the norm, and I read a review for N.O.V.A. 
-FPS for touch controls?  No thanks. 
-Art design and characters inspired by Halo?  Moderately interesting. 
-Mix in Dead Space inspired enemies and level design?  Um, really?
-Full on multiplayer including Wi-Fi and local?  *sits up*
-Generally solid framerate and southpaw control option?  Yeah, but it's just a game on a phone...
-Decent campaign length and only $7?  *runs out to buy an iTunes card*

It's good.  Not just for an iPhone game, it's just good.  Sure it's derivative of previous franchises, but it's fun.  I liked it better than Moon, Dementium, and even many console FPSs.  And the virtual dual analogs work worlds better than I ever assumed they could.

Suddenly I realized, for the first time, the potential of the market.  I ALWAYS have my phone on me.  I try to keep my DS or PSP along, but I'm always paranoid of breaking them or loosing something, or forgetting Metroid Prime Pinball when I NEED TO PLAY METROID PINBALL.  Yes, that's happened.  But it's a mute point if this was a one-in-a-million game.

Then I got Plants Vs. Zombies and played.  All night. Over and over.  You don't understand- I could have slept some of those nights when my 6 week old finally conked out, but I needed to play another round.  My entire family could suffer from this game, but it's alright, I got my wife to play it too.  If you see our family disappearance on Unsolved Mysteries, you, my friend, know the real truth.

Now I just got Transformers G1 Awakening.  Imagine Advance Wars, except replace the characters and plot with the characters and story from the first two seasons of the original Transformers, where the plot is replicated through the mission structure.  With great graphics.  And a 2 player option.  The best Transformers game ever, on a PHONE?!?!

Last night I had a few hours to play, and I was excited to finally get to Bioshock or AVP multiplayer.  But I had to see what plant I would get next in PVZ.  And it hit me-  I was hooked so much my iPhone games were competing with my consoles.  I couldn't believe it.

But apparently Shamu jumped out out the water and ate a trainer, so the world's a little topsy-turvy right now.


P.S.
My condolences to the trainer's family, I know she wasn't eaten, it wasn't the actual Shamu, and it is rather sad.  But you got to admit that headline made you're eyebrows furrow and wonder if it's thursday because nobody gets the hang of thursdays.

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