I wrote recently that I've been playing my iPhone n lieu of consoles lately, and while the quality of a few addictive titles are partially to blame, that's not the entire story.
I have three kids, and the oldest is three. For the first two years of his life, I wasn't really worried about playing games around him; I usually only play for a few hours during the week, and he hardly paid it any attention anyway.
But that changed around the time our LAN group got into Borderlands. He would occasionally watch us play, and while the game is certainly violent, the cartoon-esque cell shading art style and goofiness (money springing out of bodies, overblown physics, nutty characters) lend a certain Tom and Jerry Saturday morning cartoon aspect that I thought was probably harmless.
One day while pumping a skag full of SMG rounds, little Zachary looked visibly upset and began shouting, "Ow, kitty! Ow, kitty!" over and over. I paused and looked at him, all serious and staring at the screen, and knew my M-Rated gaming before bedtime was over. If my little guy can empathize with a scraggly vertical-mouthed cartoon hyena critter with red ovals for eyes, I wasn't going to risk how he'd take anything vaguely human-like. My already limited game time would have to take a backseat to responsible parenting.
Even now, despite not having any handgun type toys, he still builds them out of Lego blocks and audibly pretends to shoot his younger brothers, me and Amy, the TV, the snowblower, and various Thomas the Tank Engines. Usually in the face. Or engine, in Thomas' case.
I've worked in video game retail for nearly a decade, and there is a scenario that always sickens me:
*me staring at five year old, then up to mother* "Ma'am, we have to inform you that this game is M rated for-" *I look at ESRB label on the back of the box* "-Extreme violence, blood and gore, graphic sexual content, nudity, dismemberment, constant swearing, nun beating, pornography, and the ability to intentionally set your physical game console on fire internally." *mother gets a frown on her face for a fraction of a sentence* "Really?" *mother then looks down at little wide-eyed Timmy,* "Oh well, he plays it at his friends' house anyway, we'll take it."
Perhaps it bothers me even more when, due to store policy mind you, I mention the ESRB rating and the parents wave me off before finishing or even get annoyed at me for saying anything.
Now I'm not saying I'm a better parent that anyone, just that a parent should be the one held responsible for the diet of media their children consume. I do wonder how many five year-olds are playing Heavy Rain, Gears of War, Grand Theft Auto IV, and God of War because the parents are clueless. Do I have the right to tell them what their kids can play? No. I can disagree, and that's where my parenting for my own kids comes in. But how many kids get free passes because of absurd reasons like, 'he'll see it at a friend's house,' or 'he'll see it on the news one day anyway.' ? In my opinion, that's saying 'I let the moral standards of other people dictate what my child is exposed to and learns from.'
And it is their right, of course, and I'm not arguing that. But it does bug me. Which is my right too.
Do violent games cause violent acts? That's another topic entirely, and beyond the scope and point of this little entry.
So when can Zachary play Halo? Well, I'm not sticking to an arbitrary age. I know the psychological generalizations of what ages are typically acceptable, but I prefer to observe my own kids and trust them when I think they are ready. Maybe it will be at seven or eight. Maybe twelve. Fifteen. Maybe he'll have a terrible habit of decapitating Lego men in the Sega CD 2 tray, and I'll just wait till he's out of my house. But I think it's my responsibility to pay attention and make that determination. And based on his current habits of pistol-whipping his two year-old brother with a stuffed Pikachu, I think he has a few more years to go before Call of Duty.
So sorry Bioshock 2, AVP, Dante's Inferno, Modern Warfare 2, Dead Space Extraction, and Left for Dead 2. You'll have to wait until after 9:30 P.M., at least for now. I knew what I was getting into when I said, "wait, THAT's how we get kids?!"
And I wouldn't trade 'em for anything. Even the ability to finally finish my 5000+ backlog.
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I've kept me son away from video games, television, movies, etc almost completely. From what I understand there is stong evidence to suggest ADD may be linked to early childhood television consumption. He will be 2 in may and we are just now slowly introducing some televised media to him.
As for the violence in media you mentioned I'm planning to deal with it the same way as you. No set age, I'll judge it based off his maturity and decision making skills as he develops.
Parents that have no interest in being aware of what their child is doing drive me crazy. I managed a Video Store for a couple years and can easily relate to your story about trying to inform parents of the material in games and movies. My kid is already into a few things that I have zero interest in (cars and sports for example). I'm still going to get as involved as I can so that I can support his interests and be aware of the culture and influences he will be exposed to.
Nice write up.
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I agree, another great write up
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Thanks.
@Crabmaster2000 I'm glad to hear about another parent who's willing to follow the interests of his kids, even to things outside of the parent's interests. Heaven help me if one or more of my boys end up as jocks. I'll go to every game, but I'll be bringing a DS (or equivalent) along ![Wink](http://www.rfgeneration.com/forum/Smileys/RFG/wink.gif)
Just food for thought: the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends no more than 2 hours of screen time a week (!) for a child under five. I don't think that's even possible for the Amish.
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Children gaming ![Smiley](http://www.rfgeneration.com/forum/Smileys/RFG/smiley.gif) http://www.rfgeneration.com/PHP/gethwinfo.php?ID=U-159-H-00010-A
I am in the tv/videogames do not cause children to grow up and gun down schools camp. I blame the parents/guardians. 90+% of the time it is the parents fault for ignoring them, giving them access to weapons, or just general poor parenting(recently heard about someone who would blow out there stove pilot light and hold their baby over it to put him/hear to sleep.)
My son is a little over 2 now. He has recently started showing a real interest in television. And it is only a few TV shows. Spongebob, BrainSurge, Dora(ugh), Diego(ugh), Fresh Beat Band and a few other cartoons.
As for gaming. I rarely play anything when he is awake. If i do happen to it is something with no blood/gore/obvious violence. He is still really into the mimicry phase so i'd rather him singing the alphabet or saying numbers with me than telling me which way to the nearest weapons crate.
He runs up to the TV to change it from video to cable whenever i bring up the menu on 360 which is always amusing.
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I also have seen a major reduction in playing time, due to responsible parenting. I can't bring myself to play games in front of my kids b/c most of them are not good for my 2 and 3 year old kids.
I do however let my kids watch TV, but only certain shows. Mostly the shows on Nick Jr. Because they all have a learning theme. Dora, Deigo, Blues Clues, etc. They also watch a little of the Disney Channel.
My wife & I have a Looney Tunes collection on DVD and we used to let them watch that, until it dawned on me that almost every episode has someone shooting someone else in the face (point blank ) with a double barrel shot gun. LOL SO They don't watch that anymore.
We bought our daughter a leapster handheld gaming thingy, But my son (2) has taken a liking to it and he plays it alot. He is only 2 but can navigate through the screens to play his alphabet game and his Lighting McQueen game.
To make a long story short, I think as long as you monitor what your kids are watching, it is fine.
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Geez. I feel your pain, brotha. I too have been forced "underground" into a handheld player (PSP for me). The worse part is it doesn't get any easier to deal with. These days I play NO games in front of my children... well I do play my PSP sometimes, but they also can't see the screen or hear any sound from it.
I think that people like us are best equipped to deal with any videogame related problems with our children because for most of us, we can't remember a time when there wasn't something videogame related in our lives (be it computer, console, or arcade) so to us, games are nothing more than another entertainment appliance. I personally had to play through the original Final Fantasy in one-hour, once a day bytes when I was a kid. And while it completely sucked (40 hrs + game), this experience grants me a perspective that folks of an older generation can't understand; games are just games. They don't have to be a tool for learning how to create or destroy to have merit or be damned.
... I think I need to stop before this gets even more incoherent.
Oh, something else. So far I'm pretty lucky and my kid doesn't show much interest with videogames, with a few notable exceptions: the Thomas the Tank Engine leapster game, the "games" included on his Thomas DVDs, and a few rounds of Wii Bowling, though he has learned the Wiimote operates using RF, so he will walk to a different floor and continue bowling.
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I'm lucky right now because I work graveyard shifts and after I finish my assigned work I can do whatever I want. Which is almost always Gaming (a little excercise also). This allows me to get my fix and never have to play at home while my son is up.
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I joined mostly just so I could comment on your blog (Katie M here). By mostly, I mean only. Anyway, a day or two before Modern Warfare 2 came out, Andy and I were at a Family Video renting Lego Rock Band so that we could get the song code (don't judge us). Two children that looked like they were around 6 years old asked the clerk if they had MW2. They couldn't pronounce it. They said "Modown Waw-faiwre." I feel like if you can't pronounce "Rs" correctly, unless you have a speech impediment, you probably shouldn't be playing the game yet.
I watched an interview just the other day where this guy was attacked for defending video games, saying that the violent and sexually explicit games the interviewees WEREN'T for children and that's why there are ratings. It was frustrating how, er...misinformed they were.
Link: http://playstuff.tumblr.com/post/471266385/ignorance
I think sometimes the problem is parents aren't putting these games in the context of "entertainment" and explaining the difference between video game violence and real life violence. I mean, yes, there is certainly a psychological limit to when and when not to allow a kid to play a violent video game, but sometimes it is almost as easy as explaining that in real life, it is bad to shoot people.
On a slightly related note...Peggle.
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It troubles me too that children 10 and younger are beating hookers and killing cops in GTA. Just goes to show how many kids have careless parents.
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