[img width=420 height=591]http://www.coverbrowser.com/image/gamecube-games/306-1.jpg[/img]

Here at Is It About My Cube, it is certainly my job to inform you of good games. I enjoy talking for paragraphs upon paragraphs about games that I honestly believe are worth your time and money. That goes without saying. However, it is also my duty to warn you of bad games. This is the tough part. I went into Wreckless: The Yakuza Missions expecting a slightly watered-down Yakuza game for the Gamecube. I wanted to beat up punks and thugs on the streets of Tokyo, the kind of things that the series is loved for. What I got was something very, very different. Fellow Gamecube fans and gamers at large, let me say with complete assurance that this is not Yakuza. Do not be fooled by the title; it means nothing. So, in that case, what is Wreckless: The Yakuza Missions? Let's explore this mess to find out.


Gameplay

From the moment I started playing Wreckless, I knew something was wrong. Actually, even well before that, I knew something was wrong, but since this section is about gameplay, we will leave that for later. When I started to play the first mission, the first thing I noticed were the controls. Let me preface this by saying that Wreckless: The Yakuza Missions is meant to boil down all the fun of the Yakuza games into driving missions alone, with most of the missions centered around destroying other vehicles or objects by ramming your car into them. Sounds passable on paper, but in reality, it makes for a disaster. Whenever you make even the slightest movement on the analog stick, your car goes fishtailing and careening into a 90 degree turn. Unless you gently tap the stick a little bit to turn, then you will crash into a wall, and essentially have no chance of completing the mission. Speaking of crashing, if you do hit a wall, then your car will spin out, come to a complete stop, and only then can you start driving again. In a game that is meant to be about crashes, this makes for insanely frustrating gameplay. It really feels like the developers didn't think about how the game was meant to be played in the context of the goals set out for you; it is more akin to a racing game, where crashing is meant to be a punishment of poor performance, as opposed to games like this where it is an inevitable part of gameplay.

Another badly-thought-out aspect of the game is the missions themselves. Almost all of the missions presented are single-minded in their goal: "Wreck this object, then go and wreck another object, but now you're being timed." The game presents a cripplingly narrow scope of mission objectives to complete, and many of them feel just like blatant copies of each other. They are uninspired, bland, tedious, and annoying to play. Adding this to the awful controls makes each mission a nightmare to complete. I have to admit that I was for once unable to finish this game before reviewing it; something that I usually will do out of principle. I apologize for this, but I simply could not force myself to play it any more, and it did not seem like it was going to get better anytime soon. Besides, with the missions being so repetitive, I feel like I could just replay the ones I had already beaten, and essentially have gotten the same result as playing through the rest of the game. It is a terrible shame to see such restriction brought on a game that is part of the Yakuza series; one known for its interesting and creative gameplay, being akin to a Japanese Grand Theft Auto. Wreckless, however, is nothing more than a terrible Burnout clone.

Gameplay: 3/10

[img width=640 height=480]http://xboxmedia.ign.com/media/previews/image/wreckless/yakuza33_640w.jpg[/img]

Story

Instead of following the standard Yakuza game formula of allowing you to play as a member of the titular Japanese Mafia, the first story mode puts you in control of the Flying Dragons police squad, assigned to stop the local Yakuza organization. The dialogue in the game's cutscenes are abysmal and make absolutely no sense and are inappropriate to the rest of the plot, taking on a lighthearted and silly feel that is completely out of place in a game of this genre. Actually, scratch that; it would be wrong to say that a coherent plot in this game, since it is mission-based and can be played out of order to a certain capacity. It is saying something when you actively try to do something else to occupy your time during cutscenes; not out of boredom, but out of disgust. Perhaps I am being too harsh, but it is my opinion that this game deserves such criticism. In fact, the only reason that I did not simply skip past the cutscenes altogether was for the purpose of this review. There is nothing of interest to be found in the story nor the dialogue. However, it should get a point for even existing at all, considering this is a driving game.

Story: 1/10

[img width=640 height=480]http://image.com.com/gamespot/images/2002/gamecube/wreckless/w_screen001.jpg[/img]

Sound

The music in Wreckless is certainly not good, but it isn't terrible. In fact, it may be the most tolerable aspect of the game. It is bland and entirely forgettable [I actually had to go back to the game for this segment just to remember what it sounded like], but it was not outright offensive; something the rest of the game was unable to achieve. You will likely not notice the music at all, but that also means it will not distract you, so I am willing to cut the game some slack. One area where I must cast judgement, however, is the voice acting. *Sigh* Seriously, where do they get actors like this? Not only are all the voices done in a stilted, robotic monotone, they are out of sync with the character actions. It's kind of like watching one of those old Japanese movies that received a hilariously bad dub. This is essentially the video game equivalent of that, since it is a similar situation. The voices are annoying to listen to and bland. I strongly recommend skipping or at least muting all of the game's cutscenes. In fact, unless you were previously interested, I would recommend skipping the game altogether.

Sound: 3/10


[Sorry, this was all I could find for game music.]

Graphics

The visuals in Wreckless were passable, but not particularly notable. The game was actually originally designed to be an Xbox-exclusive, but late in development, it was also ported to the Gamecube and PS2. Now, the Xbox version looks great, using many fancy graphical effects and high-resolution textures that the system could accomplish standing on its head, but something went very wrong during porting. Activision clearly didn't know their way around the Gamecube's hardware, as it actually ended up with the worst version of the game. Even worse than the PS2! It is not a matter of whether the system is powerful enough or not, because the Gamecube certainly could unquestionably handle the graphical flair present in the Xbox version, it was simply the fact that the developers were lazy in porting the game properly. But, still, these are certainly not the worst graphics I have seen on the Gamecube, but they are only good enough. Good enough to justify the fact that this is a next-generation console with distinctly next-generation graphics from the 32/64-bit era. Technically, the game is equally mediocre. The on-screen action often makes the game take a sizable framerate drop, and then jets back up to 60 FPS in a heartbeat. I am impressed [for lack of a better word] that the game can manage 60 FPS at all, but the constant fluctuation between low and high is disorienting and makes gameplay difficult.

Graphics: 3/10

[img width=640 height=480]http://img.gamespot.com/gamespot/images/2002/gamecube/wreckless/w_screen004.jpg[/img]

Extras/Value

There are a good amount of unlockable cars available in Wreckless, each which do seem to have distinct strengths, and a great deal of the cars are outlandishly-designed and bizarre, so in that respect, the cars available in the game are certainly interesting; the game does have a decent selection of vehicles to drive, and features two separate story modes to play through, but it all turns out to be effort wasted when attached to poorly-conceived game mechanics. I do admire the game developers trying anything extra they could to make the game appear substantial, but it comes off more as trying to put lipstick on a pig than anything. There are also bonuses for completing secondary objectives in missions, such as hitting a certain number of scenery objects before completing the mission, which qualifies as the game's Hard Mode. The game also features a Multiplayer mode, but the aforementioned slowdown can make missions a bit of a chore when 2 people are playing. Wreckless: The Yakuza Missions is currently going for $1.99 at Gamestop, which is actually quite fair. You are indeed likely to get approximately $2 worth of fun out of Wreckless. This is actually probably the biggest thing the game has going for it right now; that it has a price so low that it makes ramen noodles jealous. If you are still interested after this review, then I supposed you don't have much to lose.

Extras/Value: 5/10

[img width=640 height=480]http://media.teamxbox.com/games/ss/39/image4315.jpg[/img]



Overall

Unless you are a big Yakuza fan, then stay away from Wreckless: The Yakuza Missions. It is a poorly-made, uninspired game that has no resemblance to the other games in the series. But I must stress that even standing on its own, it is a bad game. Even if the other Yakuza games never existed, this would have been a disappointment. Why did it turn out the way it did? Perhaps it was because it was made by Activision, and is just a case of a western developer trying to develop for an eastern franchise. Perhaps it was a lack of budget and motivation. Perhaps it was always destined to be a quick cash-in game for the franchise. All of these are likely components of the truth, but I can say with certainty that Wreckless: The Yakuza Missions for the Nintendo Gamecube is a bad video game.





Overall: 3/10

This is Lisalover1, scaring the living piss out of driving instructors.

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