It’s Monday, and you know what that means, boys and girls. It’s time for the usual installment of Entertainment Geekly!

What? On a Monday? It’s not usually on a Monday, you say? It is this week, bitch. If you don’t like it, I’ll have an abortion on your face.

Also, I’d like to point out that absolutely nothing happened last week. I suppose something may have happened in the middle east, or within the arena of global politics, but who follows that stuff? I don’t.

Instead, I’m watching The Hills on MTV. It’s the season premiere and LC just met a cute guy, but Whitney didn’t like him and LC probably only liked him because she was drunk. Also, people are saying that LC was in an “inappropriate video” with a guy from Laguna, but she says it’s just a rumor.

Meanwhile, I’m praying to everything unholy that someone with a brain will just drop a vial of VX nerve agent in the middle of their lavish Barbie fashion show magazine party. I want to watch them writhe in uncontrollable spasmic death throws as pox develop on their soft tissue and they vomit their guts all over their Vera Wang cocktail gowns. I would smile as the average IQ of California raises by 10 points.

Sadly, this will never happen.

But hey, the XBOX 360 costs less now. I can settle for that. And I was so surprised when I heard. Who expected Microsoft to respond to the PS3 price cut with a price cut of their own? It’s shocking!

Maybe someone will sue Rockstar this week and I’ll have something to talk about on Friday. Cross your fingers.

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