Lets sing

[Zagnorch]

After marathoning Joel-era MST3k's takedowns of the classic Gamera flicks, the lyrics to the original MST3K Love Theme got stuck in my head... and I CAN"T THEM OUT.

So I figured that, if I'm to experience such deep hurting, then the rest of you must suffer with me.

I wrote out the lyrics from memory-- which, tragically, are now the only memories I have left:



----

In the not-too-distant future
Next Sunday, A.D.
There wasa guy named Joel
Not too diff'rent from you or me
He worked at Gizmonics Institute
Just another face in a retro-suit
He did a good job cleaning up the place
But his bosses didn't like him
So they shot him into space

"We'll send him cheesy movies
The worst we can find
(La-la-la)
He'll have to sit
and watch them all
then we'll monitor his mind"
(La-la-la)

Now keep in mind
Joel can't control when the movies begin or end
(La-la-la)
Because he used those special parts
To make his robot friends

Robot roll call (let's go now):
Cambot! (Pan left)
Gypsy! (Hi, girl)
Tom Servo! (what a cool guy)
Croooow! (Wwwwwwwisecracker)

If you're wondering how
He eats and breathes
and other science facts
(La-la-la)
Then repeat to yourself,
"It's just a show
I should really just relax"
for Mystery Science Theater
Three-thow-zuuund

*TWANG*

----



Oh, the horror. The funky, funky horror.

Let's see how well I did; push the button, Frank.

[Zagnorch]

Per Shaggy's request on the 3-Word Story thread, I will now recite from memory the lyrics to "Weird Al" Yankovic's style parody of Oingo Boingo, You Make Me, from his smash-hit Even Worse album:



You make me wanna slam my head against a wall
You make me wanna make me do the limbo
You make me wanna buy a Slurpee at the mall
You make me watch The Gong Show

There's really something strange about you, baby,
but I can't exactly seem to put my finger on it

You make me, you make me, you make me,
That's what you do to me

You make me wanna hide a weasel in my shorts
You make me wanna phone home
You make me wanna write a dozen book reports
then pack myself in styrofoam

Some times you wanna make me build a model of
the Eiffel Tower out of Belgian waffles

You make me, you make me, you make me,
That's what you do to me
You make me (that's what ya do)
You make me (that's what ya do)
You make me (that's what-what ya do to me)


You make me wanna hang out in a trailer park
then take my hamster to the beach
You make wanna do my laundry in the dark
and use a recommended bleach


When I'm with you I don't know
whether I should study neurosurgery
Or go to see the Care Bears movie

You make me, you make me, you make me,
That's what you do to me
You make me (that's what ya do)
You make me (that's what ya do)
You make me (that's what-what ya do to me)
That's what ya do to me
That's what ya do to me
That's what ya do to me
THAT'S WHAT YA DO TO ME!

OH-WHOAH!
You make wanna break the laws of time and space
You make me wanna eat pork
You make me wanna staple bagels to my face
Then remove 'em with a pitchfork

You know there's something quite unusual about you, baby,
But I can't exactly put my finger on it
You make me, you make me, you make me,
That's what you do to me
You make me (that's what ya do)
You make me (that's what ya do)
You make me (that's what ya do-do-do-do-do to me)
You make me (that's what ya do)
You make me (that's what ya do)
You make me (that's what-what ya do to me)
You make me (that's what ya do)
You make me (that's what ya do)
You make me
THAT'S WHAT YA DO TO ME!




All right, let's hear how I did:

[Zagnorch]

Ladies and Gentlemen, Mister Elton John!

--------------------------------------------------------

Blue eyes, baby's got blue eyes

Like a deep blue sea on a blue, blue day

Blue eyes, baby's got blue eyes

When the morning comes, I'll be far away, and I say

blue eyes holding back the tears, holding back the pain

Baby's got blue eyes

and she's alone... again


Blue eyes, baby's got blue eyes

Like a clear blue sky watching over me

Blue eyes... ooh, I love blue eyes

When I'm by her side, where I long to be, I will see

Blue eyes laughing in the sun, laughing in the rain

Baby's blue eyes, and I am home... and I am home again

Blue eyes laughing in the sun, laughing in the rain

Baby's blue eyes, and I am home... again

--------------------------------------------------------


Let's hear how I did:

[shaggy]

I'm in a store and I am singing!

[Zagnorch]

I'm in a store and I am singing!

Was it this song:

[shaggy]

LOL,  You said jizz.  LOL

[Tynstar]

Finish Them by Cattle Decapitation

Fire on the horizon
Incineration of a species
The cremation of a disease
With flame and gases reducing to ashes
Entire nations, all human communities
Poisoning everything, stripped of all immunities
This is the way we deal with our own kind
Self-destructing power of the human mind
Burn, back from whence you came
Return to carbon once again
Now we see that the true evil has a face
Now we know the devil is the human race
Cursed be our society
Which finds its end rather dramatically
Part anthropologic, part organically
The course of natures knows no amnesty
On the smoldering horizon
The fumes of sulfur choking out Poseidon
The ocean boiling its contents
Mother Nature on the offense
Sterilizing the earth with flame
Beating humanity at its own game
Their footprint now buried in the soot
Of a pale horse with a cloven hoof
We purge with fire and we finish them
We light the fuse and we diminish them
We fight the fire with a nuclear flash
Deconstruct everything that's built to last
We fuck biology's eye sockets
We skull fuck futures for our profits
We'd kill the universe given the chance
Emptied of time by its draining sand
So we burn!
So we burn!
So we burn!
Never to extinguish