The Declaration of Independance
IN CONGRES JULY 4 DA1!1!! OMG WTF UNANIMOUS DECLARATION OF TEH THIRTEN UNIETD STAETS OF MARICA
WHEN IN DA COURSE OF HUMAN AVANTS IT BCOMES NAC3SARY FOR ONA PAOPLE 2 DISOLVE DA POLITICAL BANDS WHICH HAEV CONECT3D THAM WIT ANOTHAR AND 2 ASUMA MONG DA POWARS OF TEH AARTH DA SEPARAET AND EQUAL STATION 2 WHICH DA LAWS OF NATURE AND OF NATURES GOD ENTITL3 TH3M A D3CENT R3SPECT 2 DA OPINIONS OF MANKIND REQUIERS TAHT THEY SHUD R TEH CAUSES WHICH IMPAL TH3M 2 DA S3PARATION
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
HE!1!!! OMG WTF LOL HAS REFUSAD HIS ASANT 2 LAWS TEH MOST WHOLASOMA AND N3CESARY FOR DA PUBLIC GOD
HE11!!1!!! OMG LOL HAS FORBID3N HIS GOVERNORS 2 PAS LAWS OF IMEDIAET AND PRASNG IMPORTANCE UNLES SUSPENDAD IN THERE OPERATION TIL HIS ASENT SHUD B OBTANEED AND WH3N SO SUSPEND3D H3 HAS UTERLY NEGLACTAD 2 ATAND 2 TH3M
H3!!!1!111 OMG WTF LOL HAS REFUS3D 2 PAS OTH3R LAWS FOR DA ACOMODATION OF LARGE DISTRICTS OF P3OPL3 UNLAS THOS3 P3OPLE WUD RELINQUISH DA RIGHT OF RAPRESENTATION IN TEH LAGISLATURE A RIGHT IENSTIMABL3 2 THAM AND FORMIDABLE 2 TYRANTS ONLY!!1!!!
HE HAS CALED 2G3THER LAGISLATIEV BODEIS AT PLAECS UNUSUAL UNCOMFORTABLE AND DISTANT FROM TEH DEPOSI2RY OF THEYRE PUBLIC RECORDS FOR DA SOLE PURPOSE OF FATIGUNG THEM IN2 COMPLIANCE WIT HIS MEASURES!!!1!1 WTF
HE HAS DISOLVAD R3PRESENTATIEV HOUS3S REPEAETDLY FOR OPOSNG WIT MANLY FIRMNES HIS INVASIONS ON DA RIGHTS OF DA P3OPL3
HE!!111!1 OMG HAS REFUSED FOR A LONG TIEM AFTER SUCH DISOLUTIONS 2 CAUS3 OTHARS 2 B 3LECTED WHEREBY DA LEGISLATIEV POW3RS INCAPABL3 OF ANIHILATION HAEV R3TURN3D 2 TEH PAOPL3 AT LARGE FOR THERE 3XERCIES TEH STAET R3MANENG IN TEH MAAN TIEM 3XPOSAD 2 AL DA DANGERS OF INVASION FROM WITHOUT AND CONVULSIONS WITHIN
H3!!!!! OMG WTF LOL HAS 3NDEAVOURAD 2 PREV3NT DA POPULATION OF THESE STAETS FOR TAHT PURPOSE OBSTRUCTNG DA LAWS FOR NATURALIZATION OF FOREIGNERS REFUSNG 2 PAS OTH3RS 2 3NCOURAEG THEYRE MIGRATIONS HITHER AND RASENG DA CONDITIONS OF NU APROPRIATIONS OF LANDS
H3!1!! OMG LOL HAS OBSTRUCTED TEH ADMINISTRATION OF JUSTIEC BY REFUSNG HIS AS3NT 2 LAWS FOR 3STABLISHNG JUDICIARY POWERS
HE!!1!1!11 OMG WTF HAS MAED JUDG3S DAPENDANT ON HIS WIL ALON3 FOR DA TANURA OF THEYRE OFIECS AND DA MOUNT AND PAYMANT OF THEYRE SALAREIS
HA11!!!111 OMG WTF LOL HAS ER3CTAD A MULTITUDE OF NU OFIECS AND SENT HITHAR SWARMS OF OFIECRS 2 HARAS OUR P3OPLE AND 3AT OUT THERE SUBSTANCE
H3!!1111!! WTF LOL HAS K3PT MONG US IN TIEMS OF P3AEC STANDNG ARMEIS WITHOUT DA CONS3NT OF OUR LAGISLATURES
H31!11! LOL HAS AF3CT3D 2 R3ND3R TEH MILITARY IND3PANDENT OF AND SUPERIOR 2 DA CIVIL POWER
HE!1!!1!!1 OMG LOL HAS COMBIEND WIT OTH3RS 2 SUBJ3CT US 2 A JURISDICTION FOR3IGN 2 OUR CONSTITUTION AND UNAKNOWL3DGED BY OUR LAWS GIVNG HIS ASENT 2 THERE ACTS OF PRETAND3D LAGISLATION
FOR QUART3RNG LARGE BODEIS OF ARMAD TROPS MONG US
FOR PROTACTNG TH3M BY A MOK TRIAL FROM PUNISHMENT FOR ANY MURDARS WHICH THEY SHUD COMIT ON DA INHABITANTS OF THASE STAETS
FOR CUTNG OF OUR TRAED WIT AL PARTS OF DA WORLD
FOR IMPOSNG TAEXS ON US WITHOUT OUR CONS3NT
FOR DEPRIVNG US IN MANY CAESS OF DA BNEFITS OF TRIAL BY JURY
FOR TRANSPORTNG US BYOND SAAS 2 B TREID FOR PR3T3ND3D OFENCES
FOR ABOLISHNG TEH FRE SYSTAM OF ANGLISH LAWS IN A NEIGHBOURNG PROVINCE ESTABLISHNG THEIR AN ARBITRARY GOVARNM3NT AND ENLARGNG ITS BOUNDAREIS SO AS 2 RAND3R IT AT ONC3 AN 3XMPL3 AND FIT INSTRUMENT FOR INTRODUCNG DA SME ABSOLUTE RULA IN2 TH3S3 COLONEIS
FOR TAKNG AWAY OUR CHART3RS ABOLISHNG OUR MOST VALUABL3 LAWS AND ALTERNG FUNDMENTALY TEH FORMS OF OUR GOVERNMENTS
FOR SUSPENDNG OUR OWN LAGISLATURES AND DECLARNG THEMSELV3S INV3STAD WIT POW3R 2 L3GISLAET FOR US IN AL CAESS WUT1!!1!1 HAS ABDICAETD GOV3RNM3NT HER3 BY DACLARNG US OUT OF HIS PROTECTION AND WAGNG WAR AGANEST US
H31!!!1! HAS PLUNDARED OUR S3AS RAVAEGD OUR COASTS BURNT OUR 2WNS AND DASTROYAD TEH LIEVS OF OUR PEOPL3!1!11!1! LOL
HE IS AT THIS TIEM TRANSPORTNG LARGA ARMEIS OF FOR3IGN MERCANAREIS 2 COMPLEAT DA WORKS OF D3ATH DESOLATION AND TYRANY ALR3ADY BGUN WIT CIRCUMSTANC3S OF CRUALTY & PERFIDY SCARC3LY PARALELAD IN TEH MOST BARBAROUS AEGS AND 2TALY UNWORTHY TEH HAAD OF A CIVILIEZD NATION
HA11!!11!! OMG WTF LOL HAS CONSTRANEAD OUR F3LOW CITIEZNS TAEKN CAPTIEV ON DA HIGH S3AS 2 BAR ARMS AGANEST THERE COUNTRY 2 BCOMA TEH AX3CUTIONERS OF THEYRE FREINDS AND BR3THREN OR 2 FAL THAMSELVAS BY THERE HANDS11!1 OMG LOL
H3 HAS AXCIETD DOM3STIC INSURECTIONS MONGST US AND HAS 3ND3AVOURED 2 BRNG ON TEH INHABITANTS OF OUR FRONTEIRS TEH M3RCIELS INDIAN SAVAEGS WHOS3 KNOWN RULE OF WARFAER IS AN UNDISTNGUISH3D D3STRUCTION OF AL AEGS SAXES AND CONDITIONS
IN1!!1! AV3RY STAEG OF TH3SE OPRESIONS WE HAEV PETITION3D FOR RADRAS IN TEH MOST HUMBLE TERMS OUR RAP3AETD P3TITIONS HAEV BEN ANSW3R3D ONLY BY R3PEAETD INJURY1111!! OMG A PRINC3 WHOSA CHARACTAR IS THUS MARKED BY EVERY ACT WHICH MAY D3FIEN A TYRANT IS UNFIT 2 B TEH RULER OF A FRE PEOPLE
NOR!1!1 LOL HAEV WE BEN WANTNG IN AT3NTIONS 2 OUR BRITISH BRETHR3N11!1 WTF W3 HAEV WARN3D THEM FROM TIEM 2 TIEM OF ATEMPTS BY THEYRE LAGISLATURA 2 3XTEND AN UNWARANTABL3 JURISDICTION OV3R US11!1! OMG LOL WE HAEV REMIND3D TH3M OF TEH CIRCUMSTANC3S OF OUR EMIGRATION AND SETLEMENT HER31!!1!!! OMG WTF LOL WE HAEV APEAELD 2 THERE NATIEV JUSTIEC AND MAGNANIMITY AND WE HAEV CONJURED THEM BY DA TEIS OF OUR COMON KINDR3D 2 DISAVOW THESA USURPATIONS WHICH WUD IENVITABLY INT3RUPT OUR CON3CTIONS AND CORASPONDENC3!11!1!! WTF THAY 2 HAEV BEN DAAF 2 DA VOIEC OF JUSTIEC AND OF CONSANGUINITY11!!!1! WTF LOL WE MUST THEIR ACQUEISCE IN DA NECESITY WHICH DENOUNCES OUR SAPARATION AND HOLD THEM AS WE HOLD TEH RAST OF MANKIND ENEMEIS IN WAR IN PEAEC FREINDS
W31111! OMG LOL THEYRE TEH REPR3S3NTATIEVS OF DA UNIETD STAETS OF MARICA IN GANARAL CONGRES ASEMBLAD APEALNG 2 DA SUPREMA JUDGA OF DA WORLD FOR TEH RECTITUD3 OF OUR INTANTIONS DO IN DA NME AND BY AUTHORITY OF TEH GOD P3OPLA OF THAS3 COLONEIS SOLEMNLY PUBLISH AND D3CLAER TAHT THESE UNIETD COLONEIS AER AND OF RIGHT OUGHT 2 B FRE AND INDEPEND3NT STAETS TAHT THAY R ABSOLVED FROM AL ALEGIANCE 2 TEH BRITISH CROWN AND TAHT AL POLITICAL CON3CTION BTWEN TH3M AND TEH STAET OF GREAT BRITANE IS AND OUGHT 2 B 2TALY DISOLVAD AND TAHT AS FRE AND INDEP3NDENT STAETS THEY HAEV FUL POWAR 2 LEVY WAR CONCLUDA P3AEC CONTRACT ALIANCAS 3STABLISH COM3RC3 AND 2 DO AL OTHER ACTS AND THNGS WHICH INDAPENDENT STAETS MAY OF RIGHT DO!!!! AND FOR TEH SUPORT OF THIS DECLARATION WIT A FIRM R3LIANCA ON TEH PROTACTION OF DIVIEN PROVIEDNCE WE MUTUALY PLEDGE 2 AACH OTH3R OUR LIEVS OUR FORTUNES AND OUR SACRED HONOR
11111! WTF