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[img align=right]http://www.junglejims.com/images/Attractions/attractions_oct_04/attractions_main.gif[/img]Our grocery store can kick your grocery store's butt.  Jungle Jim's is an international grocery store and resort.  It takes up several acres, and it is by far the coolest grocery store you'll ever go into.  They have a full "regular" selection of foods, plus enormous spaces of food and produce imported from all over the world - Europe, Asia, South America, Africa, the Pacific, and more.  It's the kind of place you can go into and always see something new.  And, if you're a food lover, you'll never walk out with something you haven't tried before.

To make things more entertaining, there are animatronic puppets (you know, like at Chuck E. Cheese's) all over the store that talk, sing, and dance.  There is even a giant Gilligan's Island boat in between produce and seafood with General Mills ceral characters on top that play music.  I'm not making this up.  They also have a small "movie theater" where a video shows the history of the store as it grew from a small fruit stand to the giant place it is now.  And how could I forget the Chernobyl-themed tanks by the live fish harvest? (Does anyone from out of Ohio know the reference?)  Above the UK food selection there is a 30 foot tall tree with Robin Hood and his Merry Men.

[img align=right]http://www.junglejims.com/images/Attractions/Aug_04_images/tram_forweb.jpg[/img]Right now, they are adding tons of new stuff.  They supposedly have the largest collection of wine in the world. The meats and cheese section just got expanded.  They even have their own aging box with a 618 lb. "Big Cheese" which will be cut up and sold when it is done aging.  The Cooking School has recently been revamped with new equipment.  They've also added a full size bank (with a facade themed like the Acropolis), Starbuck's coffee shop, a cigar shop, an ice cream parlor, a Cincinnati Bell store (local phone provider), and even a U.S. Post Office.  In the works are a monorail train, hotel, restaraunt, and even a second location.

This place rocks.  Other Cincinnati folk can attest to this fact.

And now I get to work there.  I just had my interview there about an hour ago and I got hired.  Hooray.  I've loved this store for a long time now, so I'm pretty pumped about getting a full-time job there.

http://www.junglejims.com

wow! sure beats Meijer's

That's awesome!  I wish we had something like that around here...

Do they have dutch licorice?

That is one big ass grocery store.
I wish i had to go to that place when i was a kid. I would have loved to go grocery shopping.

Yes they do.  They have several brands/varieties, direct from Holland.  I've had it before.  Pretty good stuff.

The only think Nep left out is that it's hella-expensive.  Can you get me a discount now, Nep?

I'm not sure yet, but I think there is a good possibility.  They didn't say anything about that during my interview, but discounts is listed as one of the benefits on their website when you become an employee.

So are you going to get some of that amish beef jerkey?  (You know, the $30 stuff.)  And can you finally use your car then?

Maybe and yes.

I had some wonderful people from the Netherlands work for me 2 years ago and they were kind enough to bring  to work some of the Klene Drops, direct from Holland. They said that they tasted like black licorice. I like black licorice. They insisted that I try some, as well as my boss and my supervisors. I obliged. It smelled really really funky. The Dutch Employees were staring at us with huge, sly smiles on their faces as we placed the drops in our mouths. Turns out that they do taste like licorice. What they forgot to mention was how the drops have the taste of black licorice raised to the tenth power. It was quite the heavy stuff, and of course our wonderful Dutch Employees started laughing  once they saw the expressions on our faces. I don't think a single one of us was able to swallow it completely. So, so strong. Just remember, next time you eat one of those drops, God kills a yoshi. Please, think of the yoshis.

Oh yes.... What!? You say there is a topic at hand? It's, it's about Chuck E Cheese, right? No? Must then be about Jungle Jims then. ALL HAIL ELVIS. I bet you'll never meet a more interesting signer. I personally think Elvis is lip synching.  And, it is going to have a Monorail! A MONORAIL! Yay for that. Just remember what the meat department says, "Join Peta-- People for the Eating of Tasty Animals." Jungle Jims totally kicks ass. I dare you find a more interesting grocery store.

Does the meat department really sayu that?
If so that place has just increased in coolness by 100xs

I saw a bumper sticker that said that before and it had some animals in a pot.

Not officially,but they have the shirt. And they have alligator jerky. And they have Yorkie Bars. It's NOT for girls. Package says so. Probably some of the best chocolate I've had, behind the good ol' Hershey's Bar. And then there are the McV's digestives, which some day we'll buy and serve at a party for a crappily good time. (by someday I mean never) Jungle Jims is the place to go. Ever wanted to fulfill your mob fantasy of putting a horse's head in someone's bed. Well, Jungle Jims won't give you the gateway to that, but they do have calf heads for sale, and that could be a suitable replacement.

Know what we need to do?  We need to invite ourselves up to Frank's some weekend.  He'll surely drag us to a party, so if we take a few packs of those digestives, we can pass them out to all the drunks.  It would be beautiful.

Two things:
1) I don't think Frank actually goes out and parties. He usually just smokes pot and gets drunk in his apartment.
2) The type of party he would take you to dosn't involve any food, just drinking and I'm sure the occacional drug.  Even though most of them are drunk, they still don't take wierd cookies.

Although I could imagine such a situation:
Nep) Hey, you want to try one of these, they're awesome.
Random Slutty Chick) Hmm... Hang on. Let me get some more jungle juice to wash it down with.
Nep) Alrighty, I'll wait here.
RSC) So what does 'digestive' mean?
Nep) Oh that means you won't get a hangover.
RSC) Oh awesome!
Nep) Yeah, like totally!
RSC) So where are you from?  mmm... this is pretty tasty.
Nep) I'm from da 'nati.
RSC) Cool. hmm... my stomach is grumbling.
Nep) Yeah, thats just the digestive 'working'
RSC) Oh my god! I think I'm going to puke!
//RSC procedes to puke her guts all over Nep because he gave her one of those shitty cookies
Frank) Damn bitch, you have a low tolerance.

So in conclusion, bringing digestives to a party could have nothing but negative consequences for all involved.

And I have officially killed this thread. :-)

I thought it was funny, but then again only 4 or 5 of us here know who Frank is.

Sounds like a kid i know but older and i don't know him.
I thought it was funny too.

Now why would you do such a thing as kill the thread? Jungle Jims is awesome, and you killed the thread honoring it. Bad, bad hydrobond.

Lordy lordy, can you ever forgive me?

However, it appears as though the thread has been restored.  

And i think the next time I go to Jungle Jim's I will be bringing my camera to take some good photos to share with the group.

I'd like to see you try that, since taking photos is prohibited without a press pass issued by Jungle Jims. It'd be cool to see how they treat you when you start snapping photos.

Cell phone has camera.  Camera is easily hidden.  
Mike can help with that anyways.

This place sounds more like a mall than a grocery store.
It definitely annihilates our Big Y "World Class Markets" and Super Stop & Shop.

I bet they don't have those awesome triangle things on the lightposts in the parking lot thought that have the different names of coutries on them like Big Y World Class Markets has though

No, but I bet the parking lot isn't decorated with amazing art like Okra Winfey on the light post, and a corral cart that have a crying Native American to please, corral your carts here.

Jungle Jim's was on NPR's All Things Considered.
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=1454546

You can listen to the piece on the website.

my shopping expereince is better. Each thing I need to buy, I have to go to a different shop for. The staff in each shop, mostly own, or are related to the owners, and they know my name. They know what stuff I buy, and ask me how I am, and talk about what's going on in the neighbourhood.  The parking spaces, consist mainly of metal poles to lock bicycles to, the "cop shop", the neigbhourhood police drop in centre, is next to the bakers, opposite the buthcers etc etc

That type of thing doesn't exist out here, with the exception of NYC, Chicago and some downtown areas in smaller cities.

Well, if they ever have the Cinci Classic again, I have somewhere else to stop by.